Showing posts with label shame in bipolar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shame in bipolar. Show all posts

Thursday, August 28, 2025

The High Before the Fall: Understanding Hypomania in Bipolar Disorder

 

The High Before the Fall: Understanding Hypomania in Bipolar Disorder

When Feeling Great Isn’t Always Good

I used to love the early stages of hypomania—the creativity, the confidence, the endless energy. It felt like I had finally stepped into the best version of myself. Hypomania can be intoxicating, even euphoric, but it never lasts. It always slips into something darker, sometimes ending in hospitalization.

For those of us living with bipolar disorder, hypomania feels like a gift but is often a warning sign. While others may feel energized because of real-life events—a new job, a big achievement—hypomania can appear without reason. That unpredictability makes it difficult to recognize until it’s already reshaping your world.

This blog explores what hypomania really is, how to recognize its signs, and why understanding it is essential for mental health stability and self-compassion.


A Closer Look: What Is Hypomania?

Hypomania is a milder form of mania. It involves an elevated, expansive, or irritable mood lasting at least four days, often with increased activity or energy. Unlike full mania, hypomania doesn’t cause severe impairment, psychosis, or always require hospitalization.

Common Symptoms

  • Elevated mood or irritability

  • Reduced need for sleep

  • Racing thoughts and pressured speech

  • Increased energy and goal-driven activity

  • Impulsivity and poor judgment

  • Inflated self-esteem or grandiose thinking

Hypomania in Bipolar I vs. Bipolar II

  • Bipolar I: Hypomania may precede more severe manic episodes, often with psychosis and significant impairment.

  • Bipolar II: Hypomania involves similar symptoms but without psychosis or hospitalization. It can still disrupt judgment, relationships, and wellness.

Though less severe than mania, hypomania often blurs the line between “productive energy” and dangerous instability.


The Allure and the Risks of Hypomanic States

Hypomania often begins with heightened creativity, motivation, and excitement. You may wake with energy after little sleep, throw yourself into projects, or feel “superhuman.” But the shadow side quickly follows: risky choices, impulsive spending, reckless relationships, or pushing your body and mind beyond safe limits.

The crash afterward can be devastating—filled with shame, guilt, and exhaustion. I’ve learned through lived experience that these behaviours aren’t personal flaws but symptoms of a complex illness. Self-compassion is essential. I am not my illness, and neither are you.


Learning to Recognize Hypomania in Real Time

Recognizing hypomania early is difficult—especially when it feels good. But awareness is key to prevention.

Strategies That Helped Me:

  • Identify Triggers: Lack of sleep is a major one for me, especially during travel. Good sleep hygiene helps protect against mood shifts.

  • Listen to Feedback: Trusted friends or mentors can often spot changes—like pressured speech or irritability—before I do. Taking their observations seriously is an act of self-care.

  • Self-Monitoring Tools: Journaling and mood-tracking apps create a record of shifts over time. Radical honesty with yourself is essential here.

When I feel the euphoric pull of hypomania, I ask myself: Where will this lead? What happens after the high?
For me, the answer has often been manic psychosis, hospitalization, and months of recovery. That truth keeps me grounded.


Managing Hypomania Without Shame

Managing hypomania means staying consistent with whatever system supports your mental health:

  • Medication adherence (if part of your plan)

  • Crisis prevention planning for when episodes escalate

  • Self-compassion over self-criticism, reframing hypomania as a signal rather than a failure

The goal isn’t to suppress joy, but to recognize when joy turns into dysregulation and to respond with care.


Final Thoughts: Knowing Your High Is Knowing Your Illness

Hypomania is both a gift and a warning. It signals that my brain is edging toward instability and that it’s time to return to the tools that help me heal—sleep, medication, therapy, and self-awareness.

I’ve had episodes last days, weeks, even months. I never know when they’ll arrive, but I always know when they’re here. Over time, I’ve learned that chasing the high isn’t worth sacrificing my long-term wellness.

My goal is not to avoid joy or excitement but to distinguish between authentic happiness and emotional instability. That wisdom only comes with self-awareness, compassion, and practice.

To my readers: Have you ever mistaken a mental health symptom for personal growth? What helps you tell the difference between rising and unraveling?

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Coping with Anger, Shame, and Guilt: Insights from a Woman Living with Bipolar Disorder

Coping with Anger, Shame, and Guilt: Insights from a Woman Living with Bipolar Disorder

By Onika Dainty

Living with Bipolar disorder is more than just managing mood swings—it’s about handling the intense emotions that come with it, especially anger, shame, and guilt. These feelings can be overwhelming, often leaving you feeling stuck and isolated. For women, this emotional weight can be even heavier. In fact, did you know that 78% of women with Bipolar disorder report feeling intense guilt after manic episodes? Whether it’s anger over a misunderstanding or shame from saying something hurtful during Mania, these emotions can feel all-consuming. But you're not alone. Together, we’ll explore how women like me are learning to cope with these challenges, and you can too.

If you're new to managing Bipolar disorder, check out my Comprehensive Guide on How to Start Managing Bipolar Disorder.


Understanding the Emotional Landscape of Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder doesn’t just throw your emotions off balance during manic or depressive episodes—it can mess with them even in between. Emotional dysregulation, where you have trouble controlling your feelings, is common for women with Bipolar disorder. Anger, shame, and guilt can become intense and overwhelming. These feelings are often tied to what happens before, during, and after an episode, so recognizing patterns is important.

I’ve experienced all of these emotions, sometimes within a short time span, and it often feels like my emotional pendulum swings from one extreme to another. Learning to understand how and why these emotions come up has been crucial for managing them.


How Anger Manifests in Women with Bipolar Disorder

Anger is tough, especially for women with Bipolar disorder. Society often labels women who show emotion as “dramatic” or “unreliable,” and those of us with Bipolar disorder are frequently called “crazy” or “unstable.” This stigma can make it harder to express anger in healthy ways.

For me, I rarely feel anger when I’m well, but during a manic episode, it can hit me like a storm. It’s overwhelming and feels out of control. What helps me is safe, aggressive exercise—like boxing or kickboxing. When I’m in that space, I can release the anger without causing harm. I also journal, which helps me process the feelings and understand where they came from once I’m back in remission. And having people around me, like my cousins and mental health mentor, who understand my emotional dysregulation has been life-saving.


Dealing with Shame: Overcoming the Internal Critic

Shame is another beast. During a manic-psychotic episode, I’ve said and done things that don’t feel like me. After the Mania fades, shame rushes in like a tidal wave. It’s an internal struggle, and I often can’t even remember what I did to cause this feeling. But I know that self-compassion and self-acceptance are the keys to surviving it.

I’ve had to remind myself that Bipolar disorder is a serious mood disorder that sometimes takes away my emotional control. Yes, I feel ashamed, but I also have to forgive myself. Learning to accept that this disorder is a part of me but doesn’t define me has helped ease the burden of shame.


Confronting Guilt and Moving Forward

Guilt, for me, is a little different than shame. Shame makes me feel like I am the problem, while guilt makes me feel responsible for the problems my actions caused. I’ve come to understand that while I can’t control having Bipolar disorder, I am responsible for managing it. And when I fall short—whether I miss medication or ignore self-care routines—I do feel guilty.

But staying stuck in guilt doesn’t help. I’ve lost people in my life because I wasn’t doing enough to take care of myself, and I’ve had to learn to forgive myself for those losses. Moving forward is about recognizing what I can do better next time and giving myself the space to grow.


Practical Coping Strategies for Anger, Shame, and Guilt

So, how do I manage these emotions? It’s taken years, but I’ve found some strategies that work. Breathing exercises, yoga, hiking, and aromatherapy are now part of my daily routine. These mindfulness techniques help ground me when my emotions are spiralling out of control.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) has been another life-saver. CBT focuses on changing thought patterns, which helps me manage the negative emotions that can lead to anger or guilt. While I’ve heard good things about Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), which incorporates mindfulness, my experience has mostly been with CBT.


The Role of Family and Friends in Emotional Support

Having a support system is crucial. Emotional dysregulation can be hard to explain, but once I educated my loved ones about it, they became more understanding. It’s important to set boundaries and communicate when you're in the middle of an emotional episode. My family now knows that when I lash out during  Mania, it’s the disorder talking, not me.

Encouraging understanding and reducing stigma has strengthened my relationships and created a stronger support system that I can rely on.


Final Thoughts

Anger, shame, and guilt don’t have to define your experience with Bipolar disorder. By learning to understand these emotions and applying coping strategies, you can regain control and improve your mental health. Whether it’s mindfulness techniques, therapy, or leaning on your support system, there are ways to manage these intense feelings.

Remember, healing is a journey, and by facing these emotions head-on, you’re already taking a huge step forward. Anger, shame and guilt can be the byproduct of this disorder but they don’t have to be the lasting end product. We are more than our illness and deserve forgiveness and understanding when we make mistakes. Ready to take the next step? Talk to a mental health specialist to create a personalized strategy for managing anger, shame, and guilt.