Onika L. Dainty

So, how can women with Bipolar disorder navigate these cultural expectations while prioritizing their mental well-being? In this article, we’ll break down the key challenges, explore cultural influences including those related to corporate culture in the workforce, and provide practical strategies for managing expectations without compromising health.

Cultural Expectations Around Mental Health

Cultural expectations can significantly shape how individuals perceive, express and seek help for mental health issues like Bipolar disorder. These expectations can influence everything from emotional expression to treatment-seeking behaviours. In some cultures mental health is seen as a part of an individual's overall health and therefore is treated with the same care and respect as any other medical condition. In other cultures however, mental illness is attributed to spiritual or religious factors and is looked upon as a weakness or demonic possession. Bipolar disorder is considered an illness of mood or emotional fluctuation and in some cultures emotional expression is encouraged whereas in others emotional restraint is promoted. 

Stigma, discrimination and language expressed in certain societies can prevent individuals from seeking help especially if the culture views mental illness as a weakness. Mental health touches all areas and cultures of our world but the perception of mental illnesses such as Bipolar disorder is vastly different in each and therefore treatment outcomes vary from hospitalization to ceremonious healing. 

Cultural responsiveness to mental illness in North America for instance has varied for many years. Although we have more of an understanding today of Bipolar disorder there continues to be stigma and bias that must be acknowledged and addressed for our culture to gain a deeper understanding of the complex issues around mental health and the disorders that characterize it. Because we live in a mosaic of cultures it is important that mental health care providers consider how someone’s culture, race, and ethnicity may influence their mental health and treatment outcomes.    

The Challenges of Women with Bipolar Disorder and Cultural Expectation We Face

In today’s society women are expected to wear different hats. Some are mothers, caregivers and nurturers while others are seen as career-driven, professional and tough. The new normal for women is to maintain stability while managing motherhood or singlehood, balancing work and life, managing their various other relationships and family obligations but most importantly regulating our emotions to match each role. This is what our culture expects but what if you are a woman with a serious mental illness like Bipolar disorder? Your ability to manage and maintain all of the above becomes challenging in the face of societal pressures. 

For some women the discovery of mental illness comes later in life when their roles have been defined and due to issues around gender bias there can often be diagnosis and treatment options offered to them that is geared to getting them back to who they are perceived to be, mother, caregiver, employee rather than treatment options grounded in mental well-being, recovery and emotional stability. Although gender bias seems to have no place in the mental health care system there still exists unfair disadvantages toward women who are seen as hysterical, dramatic or simply wanting to escape the responsibilities of their lives. Oftentimes these women are misdiagnosed or given treatment options that don’t address the mental health issues they face. 

It has been my experience due to cultural expectations that prior to my diagnosis of Bipolar disorder I was seen as a woman who could and would have it all: the education, the career, the family, the great long lasting friendships. My parents had high and really unrealistic expectations for me based on our immigration to Canada from Guyana. My mother once told me that where we were from was too small for her daughter with big dreams. After my diagnosis at 24–years-old some of the expectations faded into the background because of the fluctuation of my illness whenever I experienced periods of wellness it was like dreams and expectations were reborn in them. In my culture higher education is important so when I experience wellness I go back to university to earn degrees I don’t necessarily need but because it spoke to the pressure I felt from my family. 

Eventually, my Bipolar disorder would get in the way of educational or career advancement but I have learned a lesson based on cultural expectations. No matter what path I choose to walk down the only expectations I should concern myself with are the ones I have for myself because through all the pressures, biases and Bipolar backslides ultimately I have to face myself and the decisions I make about my mental health.  

At the Intersection: Stigma, Discrimination and Corporate Culture

In 1989, American civil rights scholar and activist Kimberle Crenshaw coined the term “intersectionality” which highlights the way race, gender, and other social categories intersect to create unique forms of discrimination and oppression. The relationship between stigma, discrimination and corporate culture may not seem to intersect but they do. For instance, I am an Afro-Carribean woman with Bipolar disorder and I have worked in various different fields therefore have had to exist in many corporate cultures. My experiences have varied in each but one thing has remained unwavering, workplace expectations and biases against mental illness exist and often show themselves in different forms. 

When hired onto a position there are three aspects of my identity that I always consider but only two are visible to my employer and co-workers from the onset of my job, that I am a woman and that I am black. In the past I have not revealed my struggle with mental illness until it’s usually apparent to those around me either due to reduced productivity or a mental health leave. I have often been in workspaces where I am the only black woman in the office so to compound those two aspects of my identity with a mental illness lies the intersectionality of my experience in the workforce. Over the years I have felt stigma and discrimination due to both my mental illness as well as my race but I can say that my Bipolar disorder rather than my race or gender does not fit the corporate molds of the places I’ve been employed.

Due to my mental illness I have lost several positions due to strange behaviours (hypomania) that didn’t fit the corporate culture of the organization. No one questioned how exceptional productivity suddenly turned to poor judgement and decision making, rather they feared for their bottom lines and showed me the exit as quickly as possible. No one tried to help their flailing teammate instead they steered clear of me as if mental illness was contagious. When I did disclose to those around me in a new position the results were the same, stigma, discrimination and ultimately termination due to lack of productivity. 

One of the ideas often promoted in corporate culture is the concept of “work-life-blanace” and but in the high-pressured work environment that I was attracted to I was unable to maintain self-care and career ambition. I was unable to manage my life as a woman with Bipolar disorder and work in the 9AM-5PM work cycle. I made the hard decision to choose a different path. But what about those women of any race that want to be a part of a high-pressured workforce? What about the women who dream of being doctors, lawyers, nurses, teachers or police officers? Where do these women fit when they battle mental illness.I don’t have the answers to these questions but I will say that as we all stand at the intersection there needs to be more workplace accommodations and advocacy for mental health rights in the workforce. 

From my own experiences I’ve learned that even though I chose to focus on my mental health instead of work, the bottom line is I should never have to choose. I should never be afraid to take a mental health day or leave, I should never be afraid of what my coworkers will think upon my return or if my job will be at risk because my employer has lost faith in me. The fact is that we need more safe spaces in the workplace for people living with mental illness. Organization's corporate culture should be addressed and the intersection cleared for open communication and understanding rather than stigma and discrimination.     

Navigating Cultural Expectations While Maintaining Your Mental Health

Whether you are experiencing the cultural pressures from society, work or family, navigating these often unrealistic expectations can be a challenge when also trying to maintain your mental health. Setting healthy boundaries with the individuals in your world that believe they know best how to address your mental health concerns is key. You can do this by addressing their expectations in a compassionate and understanding way allowing people to express their opinions once and then advising them of which opinions you are willing to listen to and which do not suit your current mental health journey.

Also, it is vital to align your mental health goals with professionals who are culturally competent and can provide mental health support that speaks to your cultural experience. For instance, finding connections with counselors, psychiatrists or peer supporters from your race, sex, ethnic or cultural background may help you feel more comfortable sharing your experiences during the healing/remission/recovery process. It’s important to do your research when building your mental health support team as these commonalities can make a big difference in how you feel about your mental health and wellness journey. 

Self-advocacy can play an important role in educating and challenging misconceptions around mental illnesses like Bipolar disorder. It has been my experience that in order to stop the stigma surrounding my illness and the misconceptions that are often born from ignorance, I have had to be open and honest about my Bipolar disorder, both the positive and challenging aspects of living with a mood disorder. I have spoken in front of hundreds of people whose opinions and bias I’ve challenged simply with my ability speak on this difficult subject. I’ve answered questions I never believed anyone would ask me, difficult and sometimes embarrassing questions but I’ve answered them in the name of humanizing myself and my illness. Advocacy can come in many forms but it’s important to remember that when you speak-up for yourself you also speak for millions of others who struggle as well.     

Finally, connecting with peer support groups and mental health communities can help you create a culture within a culture.  We come from many different backgrounds, races, ethnicities etc. but when we come together as people who have the shared experience with mental health or mental illness those cultural differences and the expectations that come along with them take a back seat. When you find your mental health tribe you create a new culture, one that in my experience is based on compassion, encouragement, empathy and understanding.  

Final Thoughts

Navigating cultural expectations as a woman with Bipolar disorder is a complex journey, but it’s possible to honor both cultural identity and mental health needs. By understanding these challenges, setting boundaries, and seeking supportive communities, women can redefine expectations on their own terms. Mental health is not a weakness—it’s a part of life that deserves care, understanding, and advocacy. When you are standing at the intersection of cultural expectations and mental health challenges it's important to remember both are a part of your story and it's okay to honor each but it's essential to honor yourself and the journey to wellness you are on. 

If you found this article helpful, consider sharing it with others who may be facing similar struggles. Together, we can continue to have conversations that take us beyond the stigma of cultural and societal pressures to a place where mental health is embraced with compassion and empathy. 

The Science Behind Journaling and Mental Health

Journaling, also known as expressive writing, offers a number of benefits supported by science including improved emotional regulation, stress reduction and enhanced mental and physical wellbeing through thought organization and emotional processing elements. 

Emotional Processing and Regulation

Emotional Disclosure Theory: Psychologist James Pennebaker’s Emotional Disclosure Theory suggests that writing about emotional or traumatic experiences can help process difficult emotions and organize chaotic thoughts, providing the writer with release of pent-up feelings leading to improved mental clarity and resilience.  

Increase in Cognitive Activity: Brain scans have shown that writing about feelings can improve emotional control. There is evidence that Abstract writing–a concise summary of a longer piece of writing that highlights key points and conclusions, allows readers to quickly grasp the essence of the work and is more calming than Vivid writing–the use of vivid language to create memorable images.

Fight/Flight/Freeze Response Regulation: Journaling  helps calm the amygdala, the region in the brain responsible for processing emotions and triggering the stress response also known as the flight/flight/freeze response. Writing can lead to better emotional regulation. 

Stress Management: Expressive writing can support reducing the impact of stressful events which can lead to burnout and increased or chronic anxiety. Regular journaling can enhance mood and emotional awareness, reducing stress levels. Finally writing can lead to opportunities to share your lived experiences with others creating social support and facilitating healing and emotional well-being.   

You don’t have to be a seasoned writer, author or poet to receive the benefits you get from expressive journaling. Writing can be seen as an opportunity to self-reflect which enhances your cognitive processing skills. Regular journal writing promotes the regulation of mood swings and emotional stability for those with Bipolar disorder leading to an increased experience of emotional well-being and mental health outcomes. 

Beyond the Blank Pages: How Journaling Changed My Life 

When I was six years old my cousin gave me my first diary. It was pink with a locket and key. When I looked inside it was filled with blank lined pages. It took me days to figure out what the first words I would write in it would be and then one day I sat in my bedroom and decided to write a letter to myself. The first words I wrote in my journal was “Dear Me.” I can’t remember what my six-year-old self had to say in that first letter to myself but I do know I began a tradition that day that would continue until my current age of 42 years old. Not every piece of writing over my lifetime has started with these two words but I usually write to myself when I need encouragement, self-compassion, when I’m lost and can’t find my way, when I’m afraid or if I’m emotionally overwhelmed.

Over the past four decades I have used journaling as a means of release. I have written stories, poems, my dreams, my goals, my deepest thoughts, my greatest hopes, my manic dialogues, my fears, what I’m most grateful for, my happiest moments and my lowest times. This medium called expressive writing has allowed me the freedom to be myself when the world wanted me to be someone else, when my friends and family couldn’t understand who I had become my journal always waited with blank pages and open arms to accept my words for what they were no judgement, no questions, no guilt or shame. I filled the pages of hundreds of journals, most of which live on my bookshelves at home. 

During my many periods of instability writing has been my only way back to myself. Behind the covers of those journals I find my way back to myself with every word I write. I see the progress from manic-psychosis where my writing is full of paranoid delusions to  a place where sanity rather than insanity dwells. Below is a sample of a Dear Me letter from a journal I wrote in when I was hospitalized in 2009, my cousin who gifted me my first diary also gifted me this journal upon admission:

Sunday August 30, 2009

“Dear Me:

I lie in bed reading a novel about the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago. I look ahead to the white walls I call courage, my gaze drifts to a sky blue blank canvas, I consider hope. It's well past midnight and right outside the window all you see is darkness and light that look like magic ferries. Even in the dark new life forms, trees push through the black earth, rise above the green grass until one day leaves bloom and breathe, in and out nature exhales. Even the branches know there is nowhere to go but up, toward the blue sky, towards freedom. It's a natural thing for me to look to my left but this time I don’t like what I see: sound proof, bullet proof, unbreakable glass. I hear a cry for help, then the rattle of chains and then I remember. Although the sun is starting to rise over my right shoulder, insanity awakens over my left. As night turns to day and the sky goes from black to indigo I remember I am not outside in the freedom of darkness witnessing the dawn push through the night. Instead, I am in isolation in a dimly lit room, ankles chained to a bed, on the tenth floor of a hospital’s PICU (Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit) with no hope of escaping.”

Although I experience freedom today, It has been through my writing that freedom has even been possible. Journal has and continues to provide me with a safe space whether I’m in my home doing my daily writing or on a psychiatric unit being held involuntarily. The people surrounding me understand that journaling is a significant part of my healing process. Even if I have to fold pages together to make my own book of blank pages I will always do what I need to to regain my balance. The realizations that come from self-reflective journaling have always led me down a path to wellness, given me courage to persevere and hope for what can sometimes feel like a hopeless future. When I am deeply in my illness my thoughts are disorganized chaos and then one day I put pen to paper and clarity appears cascading from my mind onto the pages of my journal reminding me I’m still me and that one day I will be whole again.       

Different Types of Journaling for Bipolar Disorder Management

• Mood Tracking Journals: Can aid in identifying emotional patterns and Bipolar triggers. A mood journal can be structured using a numerical scale (i.e. 1-5, 1-10) as well as a few written sentences describing how you feel as well as triggers you may experience throughout the day. You can check your progress weekly by comparing the daily scales and written comments. Mood tracking can also be beneficial to show your psychiatrist or other members of your care team.

• Gratitude Journals: Keeping a daily journal where you write at least three things you are grateful for can rewire the brain for positivity. It has been proven that this type of journaling can reduce stress and anxiety, improve overall mood and lead to better sleep habits. There is also evidence that gratitude journaling can improve heart health as well improve the health of your current and future relationships. 

• Journaling with Prompts: This form of writing can help with processing and releasing suppressed emotions. Through using the question and answer method individuals experience self-reflection and self-discovery leading to a greater awareness of challenges they face with their emotional well-being and overall life. These thought provoking questions can be found in pre-designed journals or there are questions online you can find that are related to your journaling goals.

• Stream-of-Consciousness Journaling: This type of journaling can be done daily. It aids in the exploration and processing of emotions allowing you to gain insight on your inner world and the feelings that drive you. By writing without constraints and filters this freeing form gives individuals an opportunity to express themselves and release emotions that may be locked deep inside.

• Art Journaling: This is one of the most creative forms of journaling as it pulls together colours, words and images as you wish. From doodling to sketching you use your creative mind to release pent-up feelings and anxiety you may be feeling throughout your day. This style allows an individual the freedom to express themselves through multiple mediums with a finished product that will speak to how you process and regulate your emotions.

How to Start Journaling for Healing and Self-Discovery

• Choosing a journaling style that fits your needs. The above list are only a few of the styles available to you. A variety of other journaling styles can be found online.

• Creating a consistent journaling habit without feeling overwhelmed. This is the key to effective journaling. Choose a time, day(s) and space in which to journal. If you are able to make writing a daily habit go for it! If your schedule only allows for a few times a week that’s okay too. 

• Journal prompts for self-reflection and emotional growth. To get started find a list of prompts online or in a pre-designed journal that speaks to your journaling goals. 

• Overcoming the fear of writing honestly about emotions. Never be afraid to be honest with yourself. Remember you are likely the only one who will have access to your journal. If you are concerned about others finding it there is always the “Burn After Reading” method (not literally)-after you write a piece in your journal, rip the pages out and get rid of them. 

Final Thoughts

Journaling is more than just words on a page—it’s a tool for self-discovery, healing, and empowerment. Women around the world are using writing to navigate their  journey through Bipolar disorder with strength and resilience. Expressive writing is a place you can find peace, stability and self-awareness. The blank pages of a journal are like a new beginning where you can reflect on your journey toward better mental health and wellness. It's a place where you can be honest with yourself even when you don’t feel like you can be honest with others. Writing can be restorative and it can rescue you from the darkest and most hopeless places. You do not have to be a novelist or a poet or even spell all the words correctly because with journaling there is zero judgement, all you have to do is try.   

If you’ve never tried journaling, now is the perfect time to start. Grab a notebook, try a prompt, and begin your journey toward self-healing today. Remember, every day is an opportunity to do something you’ve never done before.

Relapse looks different for everyone who experiences it. It may last days, weeks or months depending on the severity of the Bipolar episode. Similarly, recovery, remission or long-term stability has its own set of challenges that one must face on their wellness journey. In this article I will discuss how to plan for long-term stability after Bipolar relapse, how to overcome shame and rebuild confidence, the importance of a support system during challenging times and key ways of moving forward to create a life beyond Bipolar relapse.   

Building a Stronger Long-Term Stability Plan After Relapse

Building Your Crisis Plan

A mental health crisis plan is a proactive strategy developed before a crisis occurs which outlines the steps to take in a mental health emergency. Crisis plans include identification of early warning signs, a person’s coping mechanisms, emergency contacts, medical information including preferred hospitals or psychiatrists and resources for support. 

The goal of a crisis plan is to empower individuals when experiencing wellness to state how they would like to be treated in the future if a crisis occurs allowing them to maintain autonomy and dignity in navigating their own mental health crisis effectively and potentially minimizing harm to themselves or others.Unlike reactive measures that are often taken in a mental health crisis creating a plan allows an individual dealing with mental illness to have proactive involvement in how a crisis is handled as well as treatment outcomes where applicable. 

A typical crisis plan includes: 

• Early Warning Signs: a list of the early signs of potential crisis or distress symptoms that can help individuals identify if emergency services are needed.

• Coping Strategies: a list of specific techniques, like breathing or tapping, that help manage the overwhelming distress symptoms or reduce anxiety that can be invaluable to de-escalating a crisis. 

• Support Network: a list of trusted individuals who can be contacted to offer support during a mental health crisis. This list can be done in order of importance or trust. 

• Emergency Contacts: a list of contact information for crisis lines, preferred hospitals, wellness lines, mental health professionals or emergency services which ensure quick access.

• Medication List: a list of up-to-date medications and dosages an individual experiencing a crisis is taking. This can be useful for emergency service attendants if a crisis escalates and hospitalization is necessary. 

• Actions to Be Taken: an outline of the preferred steps to be taken in a crisis situation such as who to call first, if mental health professionals should be contacted, if a wellness check is necessary or which hospital an individual in crisis prefers. These action steps will be considered but not necessarily followed depending on the seriousness of the crisis.   

There are courses available through outpatient services such as Durham Mental Health Services (DMHS) or The Mood Disorder Association of Ontario (MDAO) which offer support in crisis planning. Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) is a personalized tool for managing mental health and well-being, developed through a structured process to help individuals identify triggers, wellness tools, and create plans for maintaining and enhancing their wellness, including crisis and post-crisis strategies. 

Medication Management 

After a Bipolar relapse a part of your rebuilding strategy may be revisiting your medication regime and the therapy you choose to participate in. When it comes to medication management it's important to note that the meds that were effective prior to your relapse may not have the same stabilizing result post-relapse. It has been my experience that an increase in dosage or a change to a different but recommended medication has been necessary for me to regain baseline mental health after an episode. This process of medication exploration by psychiatrists can take weeks before the correct cocktail is found and there is always the possibility of side effects occurring which can lead to further relapse. These are the risks that go hand-in-hand with medication management and adherence.

Therapeutic Strategies

Psychotherapy, counselling and group therapy after Bipolar relapse can be beneficial tools to maintaining remission or long-term stability. With the support of professionals it is possible to discover the root cause of the relapse especially if causes are related to life stress, specific triggers, loss of loved one or employment, adjustment to newness or change, anxiety, depression or substance use. Speak with your mental health network in your local community to find out how you can get connected to services that will lead to positive outcomes in your journey to long-term stability. Joining a peer support group can give you access to peers who have experienced relapse and can share tools and practices used to assist them on getting back on track. Online communities are a great and accessible resource for finding support after Bipolar relapse. It’s important to do your research in all cases to ensure you find professionals, groups and communities that fit your needs.      

Structure, Routine and Habit

Creating structure, routines and good habits after a Bipolar relapse goes a long way in finding balance in your daily life. Making small lifestyle changes like setting an alarm for waking you up or going to bed at the same time nightly will establish consistency and promote better sleep hygiene. Incorporating practices like daily exercise such as cardio or taking a walk are healthy habits that will have a positive effect on focus and stability. Tracking your mood in a journal or writing your thoughts down can help you manage your emotions and reflect on your feelings with the goal of long-term stability in mind. Staying connected with your support system of friends, family and mental health professionals is key during this time of transition. Knowing when to ask for help can be the difference between stability and further relapse. Through incorporating structure, routine and habit you can gain perspective into the practices that have a positive effect on your mental health, gain self-awareness and build a stronger long-term stability plan after relapse.   

Overcoming Shame and Rebuilding Confidence

It has been my experience that societal expectations as well as the expectations of those closest to you can add to the emotional burden of Bipolar relapse. It’s like looking into a mirror full of shattered glass, each piece representing the shame you feel inside, the broken trust of those around you and the assumption of a future full of relapse that society places on you. How do you overcome these burdens of belief and find a way to rebuild when all you see in front of you is a distorted view of who you used to be? How do you overcome all the challenges that Bipolar relapse brings and find the confidence you need to start again? It starts with self-forgiveness and challenging negative self-talk. 

To practice self-forgiveness, acknowledge your mistakes, accept responsibility, treat yourself with kindness, learn from the experience and move forward. This can be challenging especially when you have gone through a Bipolar relapse where the circumstances are a direct result of your illness rather than a particular action you took. The key to self-forgiveness with this type of relapse is acknowledging and accepting responsibility for the negative experiences that may have occurred as a result of the episode, practice self-kindness for the elements of your relapse that were out of your control, learn from your relapse and move forward armed with new found knowledge and understanding that will give you the confidence to rebuild a plan focused on long-term stability. When challenging the negative self-talk that may plague your mind after aBipolar relapse, start with questioning the thought’s validity, practice self-compassion, replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations while seeking the support of others in your care circle while also setting realistic goals for your future mental health outcomes. 

Final Thoughts

Bipolar relapse is not failure and it is not for others to judge as a failure. Picking up the pieces from that shattered mirror is a daily choice. Looking into your reflection and seeing someone worth fighting for rather than someone who feels shame or self-loathing is a step toward reframing your goals and rebuilding your future. Relapse is a setback and a stepping stone toward the actualization of who you can become regardless of your mental illness. Rebuilding stability can also mean reclaiming your joy, the hobbies or passions that previously brought happiness to your day or creating a self-care routine that helps you find your balance. Relapse is lessons learned from self-reflection leading you to the self-awareness that will determine your future long-term stability. 

Remember, every day is a new opportunity to do something you’ve never done before, so choose to move forward with confidence rather than shame looking beyond Bipolar relapse to a future filled with possibilities and long-term stability.

I walked into my 7th floor apartment the evening of New Year’s Eve, my mother standing by the dining room table tears in her eyes, my aunt and uncle stood frozen in my living room and three of my girlfriends who had proceeded me to the apartment stood awkwardly with party supplies in hand and regret in their eyes. I looked at my mom and the next words out of her mouth shattered my world, made all thoughts in my head disappear because life or rather death had happened when I was out making plans.

“Gran Gran Alvira died yesterday in Guyana,” my mother could barely get the words out past her tears. 

My response to the devastating news is silly to me now, “Yesterday was my birthday.” 

Then I fell to the floor and screamed from my soul where she had always lived and collapsed. I was never going to see her alive again, I was never going to smell her neck as I snuggled in her strong lap, I was never going to feel her arms around me or hear her soft voice telling her baby girl how I gave the best hugs, She wasn’t going to be at my graduation or wedding or the birth of my first child and we were never going to dance to Ella Fitzgerald or sing Summertime again. Life had gotten in the way of my plans.

After flying back home for the funeral and saying goodbye to my soulmate I simply stopped living life, I stopped making plans, I stopped smiling and laughing and loving the way I did when my grandmother was alive. She was 82 years old when she died and as an adult I understood she couldn’t live forever but the child she helped raise, that she encouraged to dream big couldn’t comprehend a world where Alvira didn’t exist. I spiralled out of control, I made a lot of bad choices after she died and two years later I found myself in a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit being diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder. That was never the plan but life continued on around me, life continued to happen to me regardless of whether I had a plan or not. Sometimes choosing not to plan becomes the plan and life still happens whether you like it or not.

Fast forward 20 years, I recently went back home to Guyana following my spirit, my heart and my soul’s calling to be in the last place my grandmother was. I spent a month there including my 42nd birthday, I celebrated Alvira, I danced in the rain, I laughed until I hurt, I explored my birthplace and I remembered things forgotten long ago. I found what I thought I had lost so many years before: I found joy, happiness and the freedom to be me.  I had no real plans for this restorative and transformative adventure home, It's how I’ve learned to live my life, minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day because when you deal with a severe mental illness characterized by unexpected highs and lows you learn to enjoy life taking things as they come and feeling gratitude for every little moment of sanity I’m blessed with. 

Thank you Mr. Lennon, you taught me that living in the moment is better than making plans for an unknown and uncertain future because no matter which way the wind blows life is what happens when you are making other plans.