Life Lessons Series: Start Before You’re Ready - Steven Pressfield

Life Lesson #8

“Start before you’re ready.”-Steven Pressfield

Despite what we may think, time is a finite thing and we all have a limited amount to use in either the best or worst ways possible. In my lifetime I have made mistakes, learned many lessons and I have grown into a person I love and even admire. That said, I have wasted a lot of time along the way in the pursuit of perfection. What does that look like for me? Waiting for the perfect moment, for the perfect words to come to me, for the stars to align and my moment to arrive without taking the steps forward to make anything happen. I always seemed to be in a perpetual state of waiting for all the right elements to come together to create the perfect storm of readiness that will whisk me off my feet into a world where my dreams are reality. It was American author Steven Pressfield who coined the phrase “start before you’re ready.”   

Well, when I was six years old I dreamed of my name being as common as salt. I dreamt of winning a Grammy like Whitney Houston, I dreamt of winning an Oscar like Julie Andrews and a Pulitzer for Best Writer on Earth-what can I say I was a little girl with really big dreams but no idea how I would make them come true. So I waited and waited for the perfect moment of realization when the picture forward to my dreams would materialize in my mind and then at 24 years old my waiting for my perfect moment was put on pause when my mind started to fail me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder and my dreams felt even further away and completely impossible. But then something inside me changed. I rediscovered my fighting spirit and realized that my dreams would never come true if I didn’t start despite feeling completely unready. 

Step one was to start sharing my writing and the story of my journey through madness. I started opening up to others about my experiences with Bipolar disorder, I started a podcast in 2017 about mental illness, I published a chapter in an anthology about women being empowered to succeed despite the challenges life threw their way. Finally on September 30, 2024 I published my first blog on this website that has now reached over 10K unique views in six months. I was not ready for any of this. It wasn’t the perfect time or the perfect moment in my life. I wasn’t a year out of the hospital like I had planned, I wasn’t out of therapy, I didn’t have an Oscar or a Grammy or a Pulitzer but I started before I was ready and I started something pretty special. 

Thank you Mr. Pressfield for reminding me that sometimes to find direction when pursuing your dreams you must “start before you are ready.” And thank you to my readers for believing in a little girl’s dreams and giving her hope that one day they will all come true.

Creating Structure and Routine

In my previous jobs, I found that arriving early created an environment of structure, routine, and habits that helped me manage my Bipolar symptoms. Working with others can often feel unpredictable, and establishing a routine provides a sense of control amidst the chaos. This was especially vital when the unpredictability of teamwork could trigger my anxiety.

I made it a point to organize my day, prioritize tasks, and carve out quiet time for myself. This practice not only helped me maintain focus but also reduced the likelihood of being overwhelmed by unexpected demands. However, the reality of workplace dynamics often challenged this structure.

Setting Boundaries and Facing Challenges

One of the significant challenges I encountered was setting boundaries. As a Peer Support Specialist in creative meetings, I would often delineate what I could and couldn’t take on, only to find those boundaries crossed repeatedly. During work delegation discussions, I was made to feel that I needed to take on additional tasks, even when my colleagues expressed that they couldn’t. My manager would often seek my assistance directly, despite our prior conversations about what was manageable for me.

This struggle to maintain boundaries created feelings of inadequacy and pressure, making it difficult to prioritize my well-being. The internal conflict of wanting to help but needing to protect my mental health was a source of considerable stress.

Experiencing Shame and Stigma

In my workplace, the stigma surrounding mental health was palpable. For instance, when I took a defined mental health day, which we were all entitled to through our work agreements, I faced shaming from some colleagues. This behavior not only hurt emotionally but also fostered a sense of isolation, making it clear that mental health issues were not openly accepted.

Unfortunately, many people who require wellness time off experience similar stigma. There is a tendency for colleagues and supervisors to perceive those who take mental health days as less capable. This perception can lead to a hostile environment where the individual feels pushed out or unfairly scrutinized. It becomes increasingly difficult to advocate for oneself when it feels as though your worth is being questioned, and in some cases, this scrutiny can result in legal maneuvers that force individuals out of their roles.

Burnout is a serious risk for those managing Bipolar disorder. In my experience, the cumulative effect of stress, unaddressed boundaries, and the lack of supportive responses ultimately led to a significant decline in my mental health. When work becomes a source of distress, it exacerbates Bipolar symptoms, highlighting the importance of recognizing early signs of burnout and addressing them proactively.

A Cautionary Tale

Reflecting on my journey, I remember a time when I was thriving in my role—recognized as a star performer. However, everything changed when I casually mentioned my Bipolar disorder to a colleague. From that moment, I felt the dynamic shift. Colleagues began to view me differently, and ultimately, I was let go from my position. This experience was not only disheartening but also reinforced the importance of corporate culture in supporting employees with mental health conditions.

Seeking Support and Finding the Right Fit

One of the most critical lessons I've learned is to research your potential employer’s corporate culture around mental health before committing to a job. It's vital to ensure that an organization values mental health and provides a supportive environment. Otherwise, you might find yourself set up for failure from the start.

Final Thoughts

Managing Bipolar symptoms at work is undoubtedly challenging, but it is not insurmountable. By creating structure, setting firm boundaries, and advocating for supportive environments, we can mitigate the impact of our condition on our professional lives. Remember that it’s essential to prioritize your mental health and seek workplaces that genuinely support employees’ well-being. Your mental health is an integral part of your overall health, and finding the right fit can make all the difference.

For more on creating structure, routine and habits read my previous post, How to Start Managing Bipolar I Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide. Learn about one of the cornerstones of maintaining good mental health. Remember, you are not alone in your journey so let's continue to have conversations that take us beyond the stigma and into a space where mental health matters.