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Life Lesson Series: The World Can't Touch Me In My Sleep – Onika L. Dainty |
Life Lesson #13
“The World Can't Touch Me In My Sleep” – Onika L. Dainty
Having Conversations That Take You Beyond The Stigma
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Life Lesson Series: The World Can't Touch Me In My Sleep – Onika L. Dainty |
Life Lesson #13
“The World Can't Touch Me In My Sleep” – Onika L. Dainty
On an island far away from the deep darkness of life, where the sunshines bright, it touches my brown skin and makes me smile. I stay awake a long long while until sleep finally catches up with me, the world of deep darkness creeps in and I sleep, at first faintly, then deep because the world can’t touch me in my sleep.
My mind screams loud of past transgressions, past indiscretions, past loves lost like hidden treasures, an ocean away, the bottom of blue waters I drown and float, I drown and float. My troubles for today fade in the quick sand but still pull me under in the depths of a world where I wander. Dream bittersweet dreams of life as it seems to pass me by. I sleep, I sleep for days, depression captures me so I stay underground for a little while longer for what I have always known to be true, though grey skies or blue, the world can’t touch me in my sleep.
Surrounded by azure waters that touch a clear cloudless horizon I take a deep morning breathes as I try and try to rise but sleep pulls me back in telling me that its healing power has only just begun to repair the over-wrought, overrun, overwhelmed and overdone mind that has always been mine. A mind that worries too much, a mind that spirals out of control in a single moment then goes so slow I can’t move, though I can still think of the troubles that sink my soul in a place filled with beautiful scenery. I still must close my eyes for a time because no matter the warmth I feel I can still feel the cold. That’s when I remember that as I lay down and slumber the world can’t touch me in my sleep.
After days and days I rise, surprised to see a sunrise that looks different than before. My mind has healed, I can touch, I can feel the sun on my brown skin once more. On an island far away, I look to the heavens and pray saying thank-you Lord for blessing my mind with divine clarity once again. Through highs and lows, grey skies and blue, lost treasures I will remember what’s true, just close my eyes when darkness creeps in, for no matter where I go the world can’t touch me in my sleep.
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Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder and Bipolar Disorder: Women's Experiences in 2024 |
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is characterized by recurring episodes of depression that typically align with the seasons. For many, the winter months can trigger a downturn in mood, energy levels, and overall motivation. Common symptoms include fatigue, changes in sleep patterns, and a general feeling of hopelessness. The impact of reduced sunlight during these months can lead to feelings of isolation and sadness.
As someone who has felt this deeply, I remember the first time I encountered the term SAD in a therapist's office during my second year at university. The realization that my childhood aversion to winter wasn’t just about the cold, but also related to my mental health, was enlightening. Being from Guyana, I thrived in warm weather, and winter’s chill often left me feeling unmotivated and emotionally low.
Bipolar disorder encompasses a range of mood fluctuations, including episodes of mania, hypomania, and depression. As someone living with Bipolar I disorder, I experience rapid cycling between these moods, particularly influenced by seasonal changes. The DSM-5 defines Bipolar I as characterized by one or more manic episodes, which may be preceded or followed by hypomanic or major depressive episodes.
In my experience, the arrival of spring signals a shift in my mood. Daylight Savings Time, however, can propel me into a hypomanic state, where I feel high energy, excitement, and an urge to tackle numerous tasks. I’ve learned to recognize my own patterns—when I find myself with an unusually long To-Do list, it’s often a sign that I’m entering a hypomanic phase. Conversely, the end of Daylight Savings Time leads me into a depressive cycle, where lethargy and disorganization become all too familiar.
The prevalence of mood disorders among women is a significant concern. Hormonal fluctuations throughout the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and menopause can all influence mood and exacerbate symptoms of both SAD and Bipolar disorder. Personal stories from women living with these conditions reveal a shared struggle. Many women report feeling unheard and misunderstood, particularly in professional and educational environments.
I often reflect on my own journey and the importance of voicing our experiences. As a Peer Support Specialist, I aim to create a safe space where women can express their feelings without fear of judgment. Sharing our narratives fosters understanding and compassion among those who may not fully grasp the impact of these disorders.
The overlap between SAD and Bipolar I disorder is complex and often challenging to navigate. For me, the seasonal shifts amplify the highs and lows of my Bipolar symptoms, making it crucial to seek accurate diagnosis and treatment. The cyclical nature of these conditions means that one can exacerbate the other, leading to heightened emotional turmoil during seasonal transitions.
It is vital for those of us living with these conditions to seek support and understand the nuances of our mental health. Through therapy and open communication with healthcare providers, I’ve learned to manage my symptoms more effectively.
Navigating the challenges posed by both SAD and Bipolar disorder requires a multifaceted approach. Therapy, particularly Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), can be incredibly beneficial. Medication management is also a key component, as mood stabilizers and antipsychotics help regulate my emotions.
Incorporating lifestyle changes is equally important. Regular exercise, mindfulness practices, and light therapy have become essential tools in my coping toolkit. I often use apps like InsightTimer for meditation, which allows me to cultivate a sense of calm amidst the chaos.
Maintaining a structured routine, even when I feel overwhelmed, has been a game changer. It allows me to prioritize my mental health while still engaging in daytime activities.
Building a supportive network is crucial for anyone affected by these disorders. Family, friends, and peers can offer invaluable emotional support during challenging times. It’s essential to communicate our needs and encourage those close to us to engage in the process of understanding our experiences.
I often turn to online resources and support groups that cater specifically to women facing similar struggles. Connecting with others who share your journey can foster a sense of community and resilience.
Navigating the complexities of Seasonal Affective Disorder and Bipolar disorder is particularly challenging for women, but understanding the nuances can empower those affected. Whether through effective treatment, supportive communities, or personal resilience, there are paths toward improved mental health.
If you or someone you know is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. For more resources on managing Bipolar I disorder, be sure to check out my pillar post, How to Start Managing Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide, which offers deeper insights into effective strategies for maintaining emotional well-being.