Understanding Self-Compassion and Bipolar Disorder

Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding towards yourself when you experience failure, inadequacy, or suffering. It’s a powerful tool for building resilience and improving mental health. Components of self-compassion include self-kindness, treating yourself with the same kindness you would treat a friend or family member, common humanity, recognizing that your experiences are normal and part of life and mindfulness, being present and accepting of your experiences without judgement.

Benefits of Self-compassion

• Improve mental and physical health

• Reduces feelings of anxiety and depression

• Helps dispel fear of failure

• Creates opportunity to learn from mistakes

• Drives solutions based thinking

• Fosters creativity

• Leads to progress in goals set

There are challenges  to practicing self-compassion when dealing with a mental illness like Bipolar disorder. The mood swings and emotional cycles of the disorder can be rapid and severe. When dealing with high-highs (Mania or Psychosis) for instance, a person may have negative experiences that once in wellness can cause feelings of deep shame or guilt. In many cases your cognition of the negative incident may not be clear so if you do not have a full picture of your suffering, failure or inadequacy practicing self-compassion or any of the components of this becomes more complex. When dealing with low mood (Depression) combined with anxiety symptoms you may experience several cognitive distortions (inaccurate ways of thinking) which can make it extremely difficult to incorporate self-compassion when processing failure, suffering or inadequacy.

For women with Bipolar disorder emotional regulation may look like showing kindness and self-compassion toward the emotion itself rather than the experience that makes you feel the emotion. Essentially, when it comes to self-compassion the key is to allow yourself to feel your feelings even when you are not certain where they come from and why you feel that way. Having a mood disorder like Bipolar disorder is a unique experience full of emotional ups and downs therefore its important to practice mindfulness within self-compassion and remain present in your awareness of your emotions not judging them or the challenging experiences attached to your negative feelings.    

A Bipolar Woman’s Lesson on How Self-Compassion Builds Resilience and Better Mental Health 

 My experiences with mental illness and recovery have taught me that in order to practice self-compassion there are several other abilities I needed to gain. Self-reflection, self-discovery,  self-awareness and self-acceptance were important building blocks before I experienced self-compassion on my journey to resilience and ultimately better mental health. 

For years I believed my educational credentials combined with hard work in various careers would make my family proud, make me feel successful and it would prove to the world that regardless of my mental illness I was like everyone else. However the reality was different, no matter how hard I worked or how much success I gained within the first year in a position I was either terminated or had to quit due to circumstances related to my mental illness.

This cycle continued most of my adult life and recovery felt impossible. So I started to do the two things that gave me hope: daily prayers and daily letters of encouragement to myself. These two practices acted as tools of self-reflection allowing me to ask questions that only I could answer. I discovered that I still had the desire to achieve my mental health goals as well as pursue my dreams but it was going to take hard work. Through therapy, counselling and a lot of self-care I became aware of where my responsibilities were regarding my lack of progress and I was able to take accountability for my mental health.

I realized that my mental illness wasn’t stopping me from being my best self, I was. By not giving my illness the time and respect it deserved, by living in other people’s purpose instead of my own, I had done myself a disservice. I wasn’t a failure nor was I inadequate, I had misplaced my focus and energy in hopes of pleasing others. I realized every failure I experienced was a lesson and an opportunity for personal growth and a deeper understanding of my Bipolar disorder. I finally showed myself self-compassion and that helped build my resilience for all that is to come in my mental health journey.    

Practical Ways to Cultivate Self-Compassion

Along the way I have learned some practical techniques for cultivating Self-compassion. These practices can be used at any stage of your self-compassion journey. I’ve found each helpful when negative thoughts or cognitive distortion (inaccurate ways of thinking) affect positive mental health outcomes. 

• Mindfulness techniques: Staying present without judgment of the experience or emotions attached to it.

• Self-kindness practices: Speaking to yourself as you would a friend or family member.

• Journaling for self-reflection: Writing prompts to challenge negative self-talk. Write letters to yourself and re-read with the goal of challenging your own perspective.

• Building a self-compassion toolkit: Fill your toolkit with positive affirmations, grounding exercises like “earthing”, and self-care rituals like good sleep hygiene and meditation

• Therapeutic approaches: Speak to your mental healthcare team about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) both promote self-compassion in their practice.

The Role of Community and Support Systems

The people you surround yourself with can have an impact on your ability to feel self-compassion. It’s important to build a supportive team of people who understand your mental illness and the journey of self-compassion you are embarking on. There are resources in your community to help assist you in building the best circle of support. Below are some suggestions on where to begin:

• Connecting with others:  Peer support is an excellent way to build self-compassion because these support workers have lived experience with mental illness and can help you feel understood.

• Online and in-person support groups: Sitting in on a group where you and other members share common interests and experiences can be a good resource for finding your tribe.

• Educating family and friends: Encouraging loved ones to support your journey toward self-compassion by educating them on your mental illness and the challenges you’ve experienced can give them insight on the importance of self-compassion.

Final Thoughts

Self-compassion is a difficult but rewarding practice that is important for the healing journey. When dealing with Bipolar disorder often characterized by emotional ups and downs it is essential to show compassion for your experiences but also for the emotions attached to those hard experiences as they are a part of your history. Developing abilities such as self-reflection, self-discovery, self-awareness and self-acceptance are important pillars that go hand-in-hand with practicing self-compassion. When you come to the realization that the old methods of self-loathing and self-recrimination do not speak to your current mental health and wellness goals and experiences attempting a different approach filled with self-kindness, mindfulness and self-compassion can lead you to a new way of relating to yourself and your mental illness. 

Remember, the journey to self-compassion isn’t about ignoring or forgetting the struggles of your past, rather the journey becomes possible when you give yourself grace when reflecting on your experiences and you continue to show yourself kindness when you discover both the positive and not-so-positive aspects of the emotional experiences faced on your journey to wellness. 

The Benefits of Peer Support in Bipolar Recovery

• Community and Connection

• There’s something profoundly comforting about being in a room filled with people who truly understand your struggles. The shared experiences often create an immediate bond that can lighten the emotional load we carry. Sharing your lived experiences and your recovery journey with a supportive peer can be incredibly enriching and empowering for both you and your peer. It reminds how far you’ve come and gives you continued hope for the future. 

• Shared Understanding

• We all have our unique stories, but the underlying themes of anxiety, mood swings, medication management and the quest for stability are often strikingly similar. This shared understanding can foster an environment of empathy, making it easier to open up. Having these important conversations takes you beyond the stigma of mental illness to a place where recovery is possible. 

• Real-Life Strategies

• In peer groups, you hear firsthand accounts of coping mechanisms and survival strategies. It's inspiring to learn how others navigate their highs and lows, providing practical tools that might resonate with your own journey. Remember, not every coping strategy will fit your needs but learning from others can inspire hope and continued motivation on your way to recovery.

The Challenges of Peer Groups

• Oversharing and Trauma

• One of the complexities I’ve encountered is the tendency for oversharing. While it's vital to express ourselves, sometimes stories can be so intense that they leave others in the group feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed. I’ve been in situations where a member’s deep dive into their struggles affected the emotional well-being of others present. There is also the added risk of Trauma Bonding (developing a friendship solely based on your individual trauma experience) with your peers both inside and outside of the group setting. 

• Lack of Professional Facilitation

• Many peer groups are led by individuals without formal training. While their intentions are good, this can lead to unstructured discussions that leave participants feeling lost or unheard. It’s crucial to have someone who can navigate the conversation and keep it productive. Although people experiencing mental health struggles can be considered your peer, not everyone has the professional experience and training to be a Peer Supporter. To receive the designation of a Peer Supporter, there are a series of courses you must complete through organizations like Peer Support Canada in order to take on this role. 

• Potential for Disarray

• I’ve often found that these groups can become disorganized. Conversations may drift off-topic or veer into areas that aren't constructive. Without a clear structure, it’s easy for important issues to remain unresolved, leading to frustration rather than healing. Historically, it's this disorganized format that has lead me away from peer groups into the more structured environment of recovery colleges.

Leveraging Personal Experience as a Peer Support Specialist

Drawing from my experiences as a Peer Support Specialist, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of balance in sharing. While Peer Support can be transformative, I’ve also seen its pitfalls. I once attended a group where a participant shared their story in such detail that it created an atmosphere of discomfort. Reflecting on this, I realized how vital it is to have a trained facilitator who can manage discussions and provide emotional support when the conversation takes a heavy turn.

This is why I advocate for the recovery college method. This structured approach combines Peer Support with psycho-educational components, allowing individuals to share experiences while also gaining essential knowledge in a supportive environment. Recovery colleges offer courses designed to empower participants, creating a more stable space for emotional expression without the chaos that can accompany typical peer groups.

Final Thoughts

While peer groups can be a valuable asset in the Bipolar recovery journey, it's essential to recognize their complexities. The potential for oversharing and the need for professional guidance should not be underestimated. By embracing structured methods like the recovery college approach, we can cultivate a safer environment for healing. If you're contemplating joining a peer group, assess how it aligns with your recovery goals. Try sitting in on your desired peer group and listening and observing the dynamics. If it doesn’t feel like the right fit, move on and keep trying to find a space where you feel safe and comfortable. Remember, it's perfectly okay to seek guidance from your healthcare team to ensure you're getting the support you truly need. You don’t have to navigate this path alone; there are resources available, and you are deserving of a supportive community.