Understanding Self-Compassion and Bipolar Disorder

Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding towards yourself when you experience failure, inadequacy, or suffering. It’s a powerful tool for building resilience and improving mental health. Components of self-compassion include self-kindness, treating yourself with the same kindness you would treat a friend or family member, common humanity, recognizing that your experiences are normal and part of life and mindfulness, being present and accepting of your experiences without judgement.

Benefits of Self-compassion

• Improve mental and physical health

• Reduces feelings of anxiety and depression

• Helps dispel fear of failure

• Creates opportunity to learn from mistakes

• Drives solutions based thinking

• Fosters creativity

• Leads to progress in goals set

There are challenges  to practicing self-compassion when dealing with a mental illness like Bipolar disorder. The mood swings and emotional cycles of the disorder can be rapid and severe. When dealing with high-highs (Mania or Psychosis) for instance, a person may have negative experiences that once in wellness can cause feelings of deep shame or guilt. In many cases your cognition of the negative incident may not be clear so if you do not have a full picture of your suffering, failure or inadequacy practicing self-compassion or any of the components of this becomes more complex. When dealing with low mood (Depression) combined with anxiety symptoms you may experience several cognitive distortions (inaccurate ways of thinking) which can make it extremely difficult to incorporate self-compassion when processing failure, suffering or inadequacy.

For women with Bipolar disorder emotional regulation may look like showing kindness and self-compassion toward the emotion itself rather than the experience that makes you feel the emotion. Essentially, when it comes to self-compassion the key is to allow yourself to feel your feelings even when you are not certain where they come from and why you feel that way. Having a mood disorder like Bipolar disorder is a unique experience full of emotional ups and downs therefore its important to practice mindfulness within self-compassion and remain present in your awareness of your emotions not judging them or the challenging experiences attached to your negative feelings.    

A Bipolar Woman’s Lesson on How Self-Compassion Builds Resilience and Better Mental Health 

 My experiences with mental illness and recovery have taught me that in order to practice self-compassion there are several other abilities I needed to gain. Self-reflection, self-discovery,  self-awareness and self-acceptance were important building blocks before I experienced self-compassion on my journey to resilience and ultimately better mental health. 

For years I believed my educational credentials combined with hard work in various careers would make my family proud, make me feel successful and it would prove to the world that regardless of my mental illness I was like everyone else. However the reality was different, no matter how hard I worked or how much success I gained within the first year in a position I was either terminated or had to quit due to circumstances related to my mental illness.

This cycle continued most of my adult life and recovery felt impossible. So I started to do the two things that gave me hope: daily prayers and daily letters of encouragement to myself. These two practices acted as tools of self-reflection allowing me to ask questions that only I could answer. I discovered that I still had the desire to achieve my mental health goals as well as pursue my dreams but it was going to take hard work. Through therapy, counselling and a lot of self-care I became aware of where my responsibilities were regarding my lack of progress and I was able to take accountability for my mental health.

I realized that my mental illness wasn’t stopping me from being my best self, I was. By not giving my illness the time and respect it deserved, by living in other people’s purpose instead of my own, I had done myself a disservice. I wasn’t a failure nor was I inadequate, I had misplaced my focus and energy in hopes of pleasing others. I realized every failure I experienced was a lesson and an opportunity for personal growth and a deeper understanding of my Bipolar disorder. I finally showed myself self-compassion and that helped build my resilience for all that is to come in my mental health journey.    

Practical Ways to Cultivate Self-Compassion

Along the way I have learned some practical techniques for cultivating Self-compassion. These practices can be used at any stage of your self-compassion journey. I’ve found each helpful when negative thoughts or cognitive distortion (inaccurate ways of thinking) affect positive mental health outcomes. 

• Mindfulness techniques: Staying present without judgment of the experience or emotions attached to it.

• Self-kindness practices: Speaking to yourself as you would a friend or family member.

• Journaling for self-reflection: Writing prompts to challenge negative self-talk. Write letters to yourself and re-read with the goal of challenging your own perspective.

• Building a self-compassion toolkit: Fill your toolkit with positive affirmations, grounding exercises like “earthing”, and self-care rituals like good sleep hygiene and meditation

• Therapeutic approaches: Speak to your mental healthcare team about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) both promote self-compassion in their practice.

The Role of Community and Support Systems

The people you surround yourself with can have an impact on your ability to feel self-compassion. It’s important to build a supportive team of people who understand your mental illness and the journey of self-compassion you are embarking on. There are resources in your community to help assist you in building the best circle of support. Below are some suggestions on where to begin:

• Connecting with others:  Peer support is an excellent way to build self-compassion because these support workers have lived experience with mental illness and can help you feel understood.

• Online and in-person support groups: Sitting in on a group where you and other members share common interests and experiences can be a good resource for finding your tribe.

• Educating family and friends: Encouraging loved ones to support your journey toward self-compassion by educating them on your mental illness and the challenges you’ve experienced can give them insight on the importance of self-compassion.

Final Thoughts

Self-compassion is a difficult but rewarding practice that is important for the healing journey. When dealing with Bipolar disorder often characterized by emotional ups and downs it is essential to show compassion for your experiences but also for the emotions attached to those hard experiences as they are a part of your history. Developing abilities such as self-reflection, self-discovery, self-awareness and self-acceptance are important pillars that go hand-in-hand with practicing self-compassion. When you come to the realization that the old methods of self-loathing and self-recrimination do not speak to your current mental health and wellness goals and experiences attempting a different approach filled with self-kindness, mindfulness and self-compassion can lead you to a new way of relating to yourself and your mental illness. 

Remember, the journey to self-compassion isn’t about ignoring or forgetting the struggles of your past, rather the journey becomes possible when you give yourself grace when reflecting on your experiences and you continue to show yourself kindness when you discover both the positive and not-so-positive aspects of the emotional experiences faced on your journey to wellness. 

By Onika Dainty

Coping with Bipolar disorder can be an overwhelming journey, but sharing personal stories often illuminates the path to understanding and healing. According to the Canadian Alliance on Mental Illness and Mental Health, nearly 1 in 100 Canadians live with Bipolar disorder. This statistic reflects a significant reality that is echoed in the U.S., where around 2.8% of adults are diagnosed with this condition, as reported by the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA). These numbers may vary, but the shared experiences of individuals facing this disorder create a common thread of resilience.

Building a Support System

Empowering oneself through community support is crucial when managing Bipolar disorder. Locally,  Durham Mental Health Services (DMHS) provides invaluable resources, including peer support and educational programs tailored to individuals in my area. These services foster an environment where individuals can connect, share, and heal together. Additionally, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) serves as a vital resource for all Canadians, offering comprehensive services that address mental health challenges, including Bipolar disorder.

When seeking support, it’s important to remember that not all groups are beneficial for everyone; some can even be triggering. Finding a support system that resonates with you is vital. Whether it’s a formal group, a trusted friend, or an online community, ensure that the space you choose promotes healing rather than causing distress.

Building a support system doesn’t just mean seeking professional help; it also involves finding a community that understands what you’re going through. When I first began to understand my own diagnosis, I sought out support groups in my area. One of the first groups I ever participated in was centered around Bipolar disorder. Hearing others share their experiences made me realize I wasn’t alone in my struggles and provided me with practical coping strategies I hadn’t considered.

Personal Stories of Resilience

Everyone's journey with Bipolar Disorder is unique, filled with both triumphs and setbacks. I want to share a bit about my own story. From 2004 to 2024, I experienced 13 manic episodes that required hospitalization. One of the most challenging times was spending 3.5 months at Ontario Shores after my last episode. I even faced homelessness, living in a shelter during that difficult period. But despite all those setbacks, I’m here today to help others by sharing my lived experience.

In addition to my journey, I spoke with a remarkable woman on a podcast five years ago who dealt with being misdiagnosed initially. She later discovered that she was living with Bipolar Disorder, all while navigating the complexities of being a mother and wife. Her story highlights the struggles many face in balancing familial responsibilities with mental health challenges. It was inspiring to hear how she found ways to manage her condition while still being there for her family.

Lastly, I have been attending a community-focused mental health event on and off for the last two years. At one of these gatherings, I met individuals from various backgrounds sharing their experiences. Hearing the stories of other women was empowering. It was inspiring to see how a community can bridge gaps and foster understanding, regardless of age, race, or socioeconomic background. These stories remind us that we are not alone in our struggles, and together we can create a supportive environment for healing and growth.

Practical Coping Strategies

Developing effective coping strategies is essential for managing Bipolar disorder. Here are some practical tips that have helped me and others navigate our mental health journey:

1. Establish a Routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and stability. It helps regulate sleep patterns, which is crucial for mood management.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help ground you during intense emotional periods. Mindfulness practices have been shown to reduce anxiety and improve overall well-being.

3. Stay Active: Physical activity is beneficial for mental health. Regular exercise can reduce stress and improve mood, making it a vital part of a self-care routine.

4. Limit Triggers: Identify situations, environments, or people that trigger your symptoms. Finding ways to minimize these triggers can prevent episodes and enhance your emotional stability.

5. Stay Connected: Maintain open lines of communication with trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals. Sharing your feelings and experiences can alleviate feelings of isolation.

6. Educate Yourself: Knowledge is empowering. Understanding your condition helps you recognize signs of mood changes and equips you with strategies to cope.

The Importance of Awareness and Education

Raising awareness about Bipolar disorder is crucial. Many people still carry misconceptions about mental health conditions, which can contribute to stigma and isolation. In Canada, Durham Mental Health Services (DMHS) provides local outpatient resources that help educate both individuals and families about mental health challenges, including Bipolar disorder.

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) offers a wealth of information on their website, serving as a resource for those seeking to understand Bipolar disorder better. However, I want to emphasize the importance of focusing on Canadian options, like DMHS and the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), which provide specialized resources and support for those in our communities.

During my travels, I encountered people who were surprisingly knowledgeable about mental health, which made me reflect on the importance of fostering similar conversations back home in Canada. Education and understanding can empower communities to offer the right kind of support to those in need.

Final Thoughts

Coping with Bipolar disorder is undoubtedly a challenging experience, but it’s also one filled with potential for resilience and growth. Sharing our lived experience stories can foster understanding and connection among individuals facing similar battles. I encourage you to seek support, whether through local services like DMHS or through national organizations such as CAMH or DBSA.

For those looking to take the first steps toward managing their condition, I highly recommend checking out my previous post How to Start Managing Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide for practical advice and insights. Remember, your story matters, and by sharing it, you contribute to a community that thrives on empathy and support.

Let’s continue to have conversations that take us beyond the stigma surrounding mental health. Each story shared can serve as a beacon of hope for someone else navigating their own journey with Bipolar disorder. You are not alone, and together, we can create a compassionate and understanding community.