Onika L. Dainty

In this article, I will share stories of the tragedies and triumphs I experienced while pursuing higher education, academic excellence and managing my Bipolar disorder. Learn about the strategies you can use, the support systems that help, and how I maintain my mental health through it all.

Exploring the Intersection of Bipolar Disorder and Higher Education

Bipolar Disorder: A Brief Overview

Bipolar I disorder is a mental health condition characterized by extreme mood swings including periods of intense energy (Mania or hypomania) and periods of deep sadness and disillusionment (depression). While it affects men and women equally, women may experience specific and more severe impacts related to hormonal fluctuations and life changes like pregnancy, perimenopause and menopause which can lead to a difference in symptom presentation and diagnosis.

The defining feature of Bipolar disorder lies in the extreme mood swings of high-highs (Mania, hypomania) and low-lows (depression). Women are more likely to experience rapid cycling (multiple mood episodes within a year) and mood shifts related to hormonal changes throughout their lives including during menstruation, pregnancy, perimenopause and menopause. On average women begin their menstrual cycle between the ages of 10 and 15 years old and although Bipolar disorder can begin at any age women are most commonly diagnosed in their teenage years or early 20s. 

These formative years full of life changes are also the years women look to pursue higher education after completing high school. Oftentimes young women with Bipolar disorder are unaware of the psychological changes their minds go through during this time. Stressors such as relationship development, coursework, exams and difficult dynamics with parents act as distractions and explanations for mood instability.  

Without realizing it there may be something larger at play and women with Bipolar disorder enter into higher education institutes with a mixture of energy, motivation to succeed and melancholy and hopelessness not realizing this blend of emotions that manifest themselves throughout the academic year is not necessarily how other young women are feeling, rather its the development of a severe mood disorder called Bipolar disorder and left untreated it will be at the root of their academic troubles going forward. Women with Bipolar disorder can experience sleep irregularities (insomnia), lack of focus and concentration, excessive energy geared toward academic tasks and low-energy with the inability to complete tasks during their academic careers. 

My Pursuit of Academic Excellence: Destiny, Determination, Dreams- A Bipolar Woman’s Lived Experience

I entered the world of higher education at 18-years-old. But it was the determination of my father that got me there. Since the age of 5-years-old I can recall seeing a plaque with my name in cursive writing, Onika L. Dainty and the date below, December 28, 1988 above them read The Canadian Scholarship Trust Foundation. Since 1988 it was instilled in me that my destiny was university and that plaque above our television was a daily reminder that I was meant to pursue higher education.  Every paycheck my father received he paid into that trust fund until at the age of 17-years-old I received not one but 10 acceptance letters into some of the most prestigious universities across Ontario. I chose Carleton University in Ottawa, ON where I received my first degree, a Bachelor of Arts Honors in History.

Carleton University was also where my journey with mental illness would begin. I struggled with General Anxiety Disorder and Depression for most of my four years there. There were days that I couldn’t get out of bed, much less go to class. Days where my roommate has to sneak my lunch and dinner tray to my room only to have me refuse the food. After my first year I was placed on academic warning which snapped me into reality once again. In my second year I took on a 12 lecture course load to everyone’s normal eight because I was determined to graduate on time, I was determined to make my family especially my father proud and I was determined to fulfill my destiny as the first person to secure a degree in my family moving on to bigger and better things. 

What I couldn’t recognize at the time was the boundless energy it took that year and the copious sleepless nights I spent writing papers and studying for 12 exams to manage such a heavy course load. In retrospect, if the first year was a low-low depression then my second year at university I spent in the constant high-highs of hypomania. In my second year I did seek the help of mental health services and spoke to a therapist once a week. But I took none of his recommendations, read none of the texts he offered, and I refused to go on medication although in hindsight my first psychotic episode was less than 2 years away and the impact of this would almost signify the end of my academic career.

By fourth year I was in good standing again with the academic counsel, I had a manageable Honors course load of 5 seminars which required me to attend small group lectures and write what amounted to a thesis but with 5 different topics. I was prepared, I was determined, I was destined to receive my degree the following spring. Then tragedy struck. On my 22nd birthday, shortly after the first semester ended, my grandmother Alvira died, throwing both my mind and my final semester off course. I became deeply depressed, I stopped eating, stopped sleeping and stopped caring. I also stopped going to see my therapist and began to self-medicate with marijuana. I was a mess, but somehow I would find the strength and determination after much grace from several of my professors to push forward.

I knew my grandmother, though she would not see me walk across the stage, wanted me to finish. You see it is my belief that I get my determined spirit from her. So I pushed on, I pushed through, I got the grades I needed to graduate with honours and one spring day in 2005 I graduated with my B.A. Hons in History. At that moment I didn’t really feel good or bad, just numb but the pleasure I saw on my family’s face, my father’s face thawed me. The importance of this degree did not lie in the work that went into it but the work that was to come after it. 

I had my foundation and with it I was able to achieve two more graduate diplomas from Humber Polytechnic (2010) and Durham College (2015) all while managing my mental illness. I will not tell you it was easy, in some cases it took longer than the course outlines but it was through resilience, perseverance, determination and never letting go of the idea that destiny had a plan for me that I received my degree and subsequent graduate designations. Overcoming challenges is never easy but giving up on your dreams is a regret you may never get over. I will always persevere with an exacting determination to reach my dreams because the alternative, allowing my mental illness to define who I can and cannot be in this world, is not the road I choose for myself. I choose determination and the pursuit of academic excellence because they have been a part of my destiny and the journey to my dreams from the beginning. They exist in spite of my Bipolar disorder.      

Coping Strategies for Managing Bipolar Disorder While Studying

The higher-education environment is much like any other environment you will exist in and need to manage your Bipolar disorder symptoms. The only real difference is that for women they may have to exist in multiple environments for instance, home, work and school, this is all dependent on age and circumstances. If you are fortunate enough to solely focus on your academic life there are a number of tools you can use to manage your Bipolar disorder while trying to achieve a successful outcome for your academic career. Below is a list of suggestions on how to find balance in your academic life and your mental health.

Establish Structure, Routine, and Habit in Your Day

• Consistent Sleep Habits: a regular sleep-wake schedule is important for mood stabilization. This means going to bed at the same time every night (even weekends) and waking up at the same time every day. Use the alarms you have access to to ensure this happens whether it's on your cell phone or an alarm clock, make sure it's set and avoid hitting snooze.

• Structured Schedule: Create a daily timetable that includes classes, study times, work and leisure activities. You can also include your morning routine like coffee/tea time, medication time, shower, dress and brushing your teeth. When you complete an activity check it off. I recommend getting a Daily Organizer recreating your schedule daily as it helps commit the routine to memory. 

• Regular Meals and Staying Hydrated: Eating at the same time as well as staying hydrated with water can help regulate your blood sugar levels which can impact your mood. Ensure you are eating balanced and nutrient-rich foods rather than fast foods or processed foods as there should be room in your schedule for time to prepare healthier options. 

Practice Mindfulness and Manage Stress

• Mindfulness Techniques: Daily meditation has been proven to have a calming effect on the mind when experiencing stress. Meditation can be practiced in the morning when you wake up and it's a good way to center yourself to begin your day. It can also be done at night before bed to calm racing thoughts, release the stress of the day and promote sound sleep. Deep breathing can help slow down the heart rate if elevated due to stress and can be done anywhere at any time you feel discomfort. Grounding or “earthing” where you connect your body directly to the earth i.e. walking barefoot on grass, has been proven to elevate mood and reduce stress. 

• Journaling: Writing your thoughts and feelings down can help process emotions and identify triggers you may be experiencing throughout the day. Keeping a gratitude journal where you write 1-3 things down daily that you are grateful for can promote positivity and uplift you throughout the day.

• Exercise: having a daily exercise routine where you participate in physical activity like walking, hiking, yoga or light cardio can reduce stress throughout the day. It is my recommendation that you begin or end your day with exercise as those feel good chemicals like endorphins, dopamine and serotonin can boost your mood preparing you for what’s ahead or placing the day's stress in the rearview mirror.  

Self-Care

• Medication Management: if prescribed medications, take consistently and as directed.

• Identify and Manage Triggers: Keep a mood tracking journal to track changes in your mood and potential triggers for episodes. Ensure you share with your mental healthcare team regularly.

• Limit Stress: Don’t overload your schedule with too many commitments as this can lead to burnout or even a severe episode of Mania, Hypomania or depression.

• Focus on Your Strengths: Focus on your accomplishments and abilities throughout the academic year. 

• Take Breaks: schedule breaks in your daily routine as these are important for rejuvenating your mental and physical strength. 

• Stay Positive: Focus on your goals and never forget your progress. Especially during exams when stress tends to be high, remember a grade does not define who you are or where you land in the future. 

• Give Yourself Grace: You are managing a mood disorder and higher education so be patient with yourself and trust the process. 

The Role of Support Systems in Higher Education

Campus mental health resources and counselors are vital to the growth and productivity of students on college and university campuses. They provide safe and accessible environments for students pursuing higher education to express their mental health concerns especially during the formative period of transitioning from high school to post-secondary education. These services can provide  support acting as the first point of contact for students struggling with their mental health. With stigma continuing to be a concern for individuals dealing with mental health issues, campus mental health resources provide judgement-free and confidential spaces for students to express themselves and the struggles they face both on and off campus. By creating these safe spaces where mental health resources are accessible campus counselors are able to build trust, improve academic performance, promote overall well-being and connect them with other student groups who have similar experiences.

Even with the transition to higher education being complex, there is still room for family and friends to play a supportive role in student life. It’s important to remember everyone’s higher education journey is different and can be even more challenging when mental illness is involved. For the friends and family of students in higher education I would say just be there to listen without judgement or expressing concerns about their ability to manage grades and Bipolar disorder. Use empathy, compassion and understanding when interacting with your friend or family member pursuing academia especially if they show vulnerability in sharing their fears. Finally, stay positive and continue to show them support on their journey through higher education while managing their Bipolar Disorder. 

Balancing Higher Education and Mental Health: Routines, Regimens and Academic Responsibilities

University/college can be an exciting new time in your life. There can be a feeling of change in identity as well as the direction your life is heading in. Perhaps this new acceptance into a new environment can make you feel like you are able to shut the door of who you used to be but it's important to remember although there will be many changes and new adjustments in your life, it is still your responsibility to take care of yourself and your medical needs. When you receive the letter of acceptance, the timetables and your room assignment it's my recommendation one of the first people you communicate with should be your mental healthcare team to see how these changes will affect how you manage your medication routine and therapy regimen going forward. 

Below are some questions you may want to consider asking your team:

• How will I manage my medication schedule/routine with class timings and exams?

• How will I manage seeing my therapist/counselor with my new schedule? Are there virtual/phone appointments available?

• How often will I connect with my team now that I’m in University/College?

• If I decide to go away for University/College who will be my psychiatrist? Who will be on my mental healthcare support team?

• If I decide to go away for University/College how will I manage my medication?

• What do I do/who do I call if I’m in a crisis? Are there any crisis lines I can contact?

Some of these questions have simple solutions and others require more complex planning therefore, the sooner you connect with your mental healthcare team the easier it may be to navigate medication management, therapeutic treatment options and your new academic responsibilities. 

Overcoming Setbacks: Resilience and Persistence in Education

One of my greatest academic setbacks was experienced at Humber Polytechnic when I was in pursuit of my Public Relations and Communications graduate certification. When I started the program in 2008, I was one of 45 students that got in from an application pool of over 700 people. I worked hard preparing for the preliminary written exam and the subsequent interview with the head of the department. According to him the deciding factor for admission was that I was the fist application that day to correctly name the Prime Minster of Canada, Stephen Harper. I still find that funny because I had read every newspaper and international newspaper to prepare for the interview and my answer came out more like a question because of its simplicity. 

I started off well in the program but by mid-first semester I experienced the stressor of my long-term partner ending our relationship. After this event I could not find my balance. After struggling in university, receiving my diagnosis of Bipolar I disorder, and taking time off to process and find my new direction, the break-up was a huge trigger that threw off my equilibrium. Although for the first few weeks I continued to achieve at the level I had at the beginning of the semester, things rapidly went downhill. The carefully established structure, routine and habits that had previously kept me on top of both my academic life and my mental health began to fall apart. I started forgetting to take my medication on time, I could not sleep, barely getting 2-3 hours nightly, I had disorganized thinking, my thoughts raced out of control and I started using marijuana again, self-medicating to find relief.

Eventually I had to speak to my student advisor and request a leave of absence which was granted and shortly after I was hospitalized due to a manic-psychotic episode. I spent two months in hospital and a full year in recovery before remission and stability came and I was able to re-enter the program. I wasn’t the same however, I was 60 pounds over-weight due to a new medication I was on, I was shaky and lethargic because of the same medication, I had lost my confidence and spark, I questioned my presence in the program and whether I should drop out. However, there was still the part of me that existed for making my dreams come true and I tapped into that determination and tenacity to find my source of motivation and my reason for persevering. I was able to complete my first semester and half of my second semester but during my required internship I was in a serious car accident and once again everything was put on hold.

After the accident I fell into a deep depression, refusing to leave my room, sleeping all day and not eating. My parents tried to support me the best they could but it was my cousin Kim and our daily walks by the lake that got me out of my depression and back to a place of hope and determination. After a few months and the recreation of my structure, routine and habit I realized a year had passed and I wasn’t even sure I would be let back in the PR and Communications program. I knew I had to try, even with the changes in me and the pushback I suspected I’d face, I knew I had to try and finish what I had started almost 2 years before. I was fortunate they allowed me back in for a third time but stipulated it was my final chance to complete my 2nd semester as well as find my own internship. With determination in my heart and motivation in my mind I did both. I  took night classes to finish the semester and I received an internship at a local non-profit community organization.

I was responsible along with two high school students in my internship office, for planning an opening day celebration for the new non-profit organization. I worked hard, maybe too hard, pushing myself to succeed and ultimately pushing myself into another manic episode and a brief hospitalization. Although I was able to plan a successful celebration event making over 250K in sponsorship for the organization for the first time on my mental illness journey I would experience the stigma and discrimination of small minds who did not believe I was capable of doing big things.

When I was released from the hospital I had a meeting with my internship coordinator where she accused me of not being responsible for the planning and execution of the event as she didn’t believe I was capable. The disillusionment, disappointment and disbelief I felt at her accusation still hits home today but with calm determination I accepted her recrimination and sub-par grade, then contacted the two other young women who assisted me in the event planning for testimonials and clear statements of their tasks. In my second meeting with the internship coordinator I produced the testimonials and strongly worded statements of disappointment and advised her that if she didn’t change my grade to reflect the hard work we both knew I had done that her organization would have a lawsuit on their hands.

In the Spring of 2010, after two years of hard work, 60 pounds of weight, mental health setbacks, academic failures, hospitalizations, and an almost lawsuit, I graduated from the Humber Polytechnic Public Relations and Communications program. My relationship with my father was extremely strained so he wasn’t in attendance but in my heart I know he was proud. My mother and cousin Kim were there and presented me with a dozen pink long stem roses. I didn’t graduate with the class I started with, most of the people there were unrecognizable to me except one face: our keynote speaker comedian Russell Peters. When I crossed the stage to receive my diploma, I bypassed the Dean of Students with the funny hat and went straight to Mr. Peters, I told him I loved his work, he smiled and told me to call him Russell, I gave him a big hug, he smiled and then said “Welcome to the club.”      

Creating a Bright Future for Students with Bipolar Disorder: How Higher Education Institutions Can Support Your Academic Journey

First it’s important to realize that change starts with you. Students with mental health challenges like Bipolar disorder often shy away from sharing their struggles with those that can help them especially in academia. We want to be seen as capable and worthy of  the role of university/college student so it is not uncommon to feel that asking for help on your journey through academia might mean you are not as capable as the other students that do not require certain allowances. It’s okay to feel this way, it's even okay to attempt to manage both school and your Bipolar disorder in a way that works for you. However, if struggles do arise it's definitely okay to advocate for yourself and the services and support you need to make your journey an enriching and fulfilling one. 

Something to consider is that by sharing your challenges you might be paving the way for those that come after you to ask for assistance when they are struggling in those first few weeks or months of their transition. By advocating for yourself you raise awareness and promote education of an important issue, de-stigmatizing mental illness for students on campus and the leaders that make important decisions about how to support people in their academic careers that might struggle with mental illness but have the drive and passion to succeed in this educational arena. 

With that said, the responsibility for providing support for students with mental illnesses such as Bipolar disorder falls on the higher education institution. Some spaces do so by implementing flexible academic structures, providing readily available and accessible mental health services on campus and fostering an inclusive and supportive environment by offering aides like preferential seating, extended deadlines, providing confidential counseling and therapy and promoting open dialogue about mental health through crisis intervention, psychiatric services and peer support groups. 

Open communication is key, so when you are visiting your potential university/college campus this year it's important you ask the questions about the experience you will have on campus as a person with a mental illness who is also in pursuit of academic excellence. As you walk down this new path and journey toward your higher education goals remember to continue to have conversations that take you beyond the stigma to a place where you create a brighter future for yourself and every student who struggles to find their voice. Fostering an inclusive and understanding environment that promotes academic success is in both the hands of the higher education institution and your hands as well.        

Final Thoughts

Pursuing higher education while managing Bipolar disorder isn’t easy but it’s possible. It’s important to remember that although you are dealing with a lifelong condition it doesn’t mean that your mood disorder has to stand in the way of your lifelong goals and dreams. With a plan that establishes structure, routine and habits around your Bipolar disorder as well as your higher education goals you can have a successful academic career. 

Speak with your mental health team to determine the best course of action to manage things like medication, therapeutic treatment and your academic responsibilities as you embark on this new and exciting journey. Follow the practical tips on how to self-care, practice mindfulness and reduce stress while pursuing academia to ensure you have tools in your toolkit when things get overwhelming. Contact your university/college mental health services office to see what support they have available.  

The pursuit of a goal or dream is never easy. It involves persistence, hard work and determination. Mostly, it's important to give yourself grace because there will be setbacks on your journey to academic excellence that will require you to show resilience and self-compassion in order to bounce back. Academic success does not come easy for anyone but it can be especially challenging for individuals managing Bipolar disorder so ask for help when you need it, remember you are not alone and there is supports in your community and through family and friends that can assist you in navigating this new higher education journey you are embarking on. Remember, every day is an opportunity to do something you've never done before so today be driven and determined in your pursuit of your dream of academic success and as Mr. Peters once said “Welcome to the club.”

The Connection Between Spirituality and Mental Health

Spiritual practices can have a positive and long lasting effect on emotional and psychological well-being as they promote a sense of purpose, connection to community and inner peace. This can lead to reduced anxiety, stress, depression and substance use as well as enhance overall emotional stability and wellness. 

Spiritual practice can help an individual define purpose and meaning in their lives which can help them avoid feelings of emptiness and despair. This sense of purpose can foster resilience when dealing with challenges in life and promote positivity. Spirituality can also be a catalyst for forgiveness when dealing with difficult interpersonal relationship dynamics. It can also connect you to your community providing you with social support and a sense of belonging. Oftentimes people feel isolated when dealing with mental illness and through the exploration of spirituality you can gain a connection to others which is vital for mental and emotional well-being.

Spirituality and religious practices can be used as coping mechanisms for individuals struggling with mood disorders offering respite from some of the negative aspects of the illness by providing a positive outlet for addressing periods of depression or anxiety. Spirituality can provide various tools such as prayer, meditation or guidance from religious leaders which can help with symptom management and emotional well-being. Research suggests religious and spiritual practices are associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression and negative mood states attributing this to the sense of purpose, meaning and community support often derived from regular spiritual or religious practices. 

It is important to note however, that although spirituality and religious practices are valuable coping mechanisms that can promote emotional stability and emotional well-being, it is not a replacement for professional mental health treatment for severe mood conditions like Bipolar disorder. It can be considered a supplementary resource that can enhance psychological and emotional wellness rather than a singular resource for complex mental illness. It has been my experience that the community connection, structure and routine that my spiritual practices provide me has enhanced the overall treatment plan for Bipolar disorder that I currently follow.          

The Connection Between Spirituality and Psychosis: A Woman’s Lived Experience

I remember my first manic-psychotic episode like it was yesterday rather than 20 years ago. I was living in Gatineau, MTL, working as a hostess at a local restaurant and still dating my university partner. I woke up one morning  and I felt different, almost superhuman with boundless energy. I could not sit still, my thoughts were racing, I was hallucinating and hearing voices that were telling me I was on a mission from God to save the lost souls of the world. I somehow made it to work that morning but when my manager realized I was behaving erratically and telling my fellow staff members God was coming for them to punish the unholy, he called the police for what would be my first wellness check.

The police took me to the local Emergency Room where I received a psychological assessment. After a few hours I was released into the care of my partner with the instruction to eat and get rest. However, when we arrived back at my apartment I was unable to be still, the hallucinations were worse as now I imagined I could connect with the Holy Spirit though my computer and the TV which my partner had to unplug because I was rapidly flipping through the channels looking to find messages from Jesus Christ.

When my partner realized I wasn’t getting better he called my mother to tell her I was very unwell and she needed to come and get me. My parents drove the four hours to Quebec and found me reading the Bible and screaming random scriptures at the top of my lungs. From what I can recall by the time they arrived I believed I was Jesus Christ, my father was the devil and my mother and aunt who had accompanied them were my disciples called to help me fulfill my holy destiny. After much struggle, my parents were able to get me into their car and we drove a harrowing four hours back to Toronto, my aunt in the drivers seat, my father in the passenger seat and my mother with me in the back seat trying to stop me from jumping out of a moving vehicle. 

My religious ideations didn’t end there, over the next 20 years of episodes I would continue to have God-related delusions and hallucinations believing I was either the second coming of Christ or that the devil was controlling my thoughts. During my last episodes of psychosis I would have conversations with someone I believed to be the devil and I would even speak in religious tongues. I continued to connect with my spirituality by attending church but would often disrupt service by falling in the aisles and speaking to myself in an non-audible manner that concerned the other members of the congregation. 

I can’t say why my psychotic episodes are God-centred other than that in my wellness I feel a deep connection to my spirituality and my religious beliefs have always provided me comfort in dark times. For example, When I was experiencing suicidal ideations it was Psalm 23 as well as the steadfast prayers of several family members that saved me from completing my attempt. Also, during my periods of unwellness I rely on the daily scripture 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God did not give you a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” This became and still is my daily affirmation which reminds me that no matter my condition I should never let fear dictate my actions on my journey to mental wellness. My connection to my spirituality whether based in psychosis or remission/recovery reminds me that my spirit is powerful, full of love and my faith encourages me to hold onto a mind that is sound even when it's not always sane.           

Common Spiritual Practices for Mental Wellness

Spirituality is a unique experience for everyone. Some people find spirituality through prayer and religious practices like reading spiritual texts; others find that meditation and mindfulness help with emotional regulation. Whatever spiritual practice you choose, it has been proven that incorporating some practice into your daily routine can have a positive effect on your mental well-being. Below are some options for spiritual practices that may be worth exploring.

Meditation: Focusing on the present moment by quieting your mind. You can explore guided meditation practice or simply use medication soundscapes to create an environment of relaxation and calm. Some apps that are available are Insight Timer, HeadSpace or Youtube. This practice can reduce stress, anxiety and improve focus.

Mindfulness: Paying attention to thoughts and feelings without self-judgement. Practicing mindfulness can be done by doing almost anything. For example, you can eat food mindfully focusing on every bite and chew and connecting it to your thoughts and feelings. You can brush your teeth mindfully thinking about the feeling it evokes in you as you do it. Lastly, you can listen to music mindfully, really tuning into the words and sounds you hear and how they resonate with you on an emotional level. Mindfulness can increase self-awareness as well as emotional regulation.

Gratitude: Focusing on the aspects of your life you are grateful for can create a sense of well-being and positivity. Start a gratitude journal and make it a daily practice to first write down one thing you are grateful for and overtime you can increase the list. Before you realize it the growing list will foster a sense of contentment within you and help you start or end your day with joy.

Forgiveness: This is not always the easiest practice but it may be the most beneficial. Letting go of anger and resentment towards others has been proven an effective way to foster healing, personal growth and reduce stress and anxiety. Remember forgiveness is for you not others and it may be easier to practice writing letters of forgiveness and throwing them away when you are ready to let go and move on.  

Prayer: Engaging in prayer can act as a connection with something outside of yourself. Whether it's personal or communal prayer this practice can provide you with a sense of comfort, peace, strength and connection.The practice of prayer can occur anywhere at anytime, out loud or in your head, this practice can be uniquely yours as you can allow the words to flow like a conversation or you can look to spiritual texts to guide you in your prayer practice. Remember there is no right or wrong way to pray as it is your internal connection to a force outside of yourself that may help you gain peace and deeper understanding of your journey. 

Affirmations: Daily affirmations can boost your self-esteem, reduce stress and anxiety and promote positivity increasing both emotional and mental well-being. They can help overcome negative thoughts, increase resilience and help with self-worth, motivation and personal growth. Some apps to consider are Iam, ThinkUp, Mantra, GoodMind.  

Connect with Nature: Spending time in nature can enhance feelings of connectivity, relaxation and calm. Grounding also known as earthing is a practice where you intentionally connect your body to the earth for example, your feet to grass, the theory states that earth is energy and you can get an energetic charge that has been shown to benefit sleep, enhance mood, reduce stress and anxiety, feelings of overwhelmedness and general well-being.  

Challenges and Misconceptions About Spirituality and Bipolar Disorder

There are several challenges and misconceptions about spirituality and mental illnesses like Bipolar disorder. For women with Bipolar disorder the experience of stigma, finding a support system within their spiritual community and potentially a hindrance to treatment and recovery are all challenges that can be faced when spirituality and mental health collide. Stigma and lack of support from spiritual and religious communities has been seen as an issue due to lack of understanding of mental illness and the invalidation of experiences when dealing with a mood disorder like Bipolar disorder. Oftentimes the invalidation comes in the form of spiritual communities seeing manic-psychotic episodes as “demons”, lack of self-control, substance use or personality issues within their faith community. Rather than seeking help for the individual they practice the idea of “Praying-the-Cray-Away” , certain that the power of prayer or other religious ceremonies is the solution.   

There can also be a misinterpretation of religious experience when some individuals experience Hyper-religiosity during Mania. Some individuals with Bipolar disorder may experience an increase in religious beliefs during a manic episode which faith communities interpret as a normal response to having an illness rather than a symptom of the illness. In some cases a symptom of Bipolar disorder can be religious delusions which include the belief they are Christ reborn or that they have demons watching them which can be difficult for the individual, their families and their faith-communities to understand. During depressive episodes people can feel like “God has abandoned them” or that “There is no God” which again can be a symptom of the illness rather than a reflection of their spiritual faith. 

The fear of experiencing stigma from both healthcare professionals as well faith communities can act as a barrier to seeking help. A great challenge lies in people’s inability to fit their illness into the realm of their spiritual beliefs. When you experience mental illness for the first time but you have had a spiritual connection and been a part of a faith community for a length of time it is difficult to imagine there is no spiritual explanation for what is occurring in their mind. This can lead to feelings of isolation and confusion. It is important to find a balance between faith and professional mental health care. Anyone who has spiritual faith may go through this challenging transition but remember getting help for your mood disorder does not mean you are walking away from your belief system or faith community. Rather, you are taking the necessary steps to integrate spirituality into your mental health plan. 

Integrating Spirituality into a Mental Health Plan

When integrating spirituality into your mental health treatment plan consider the holistic method which focuses on the interconnectedness of mind, body and spirit, addressing the whole person rather than just the symptoms. Working with a mental health team that considers your spiritual and religious beliefs and practices can be key to remission/recovery outcomes. Maintaining an open dialogue about spirituality and mental health with your care team can make you feel understood and supported. Creating structure, routine and habits around spirituality can keep you grounded and stable in your mental health and spiritual journey. Finally, building a supportive community based on your spiritual and mental health needs will enhance your experiences in both realms creating an environment that fosters understanding and personal growth.

Final Thoughts

Spirituality can be a powerful tool for women with Bipolar disorder, offering hope, comfort, and resilience. The journey of spirituality and Bipolar disorder do not need to reside separate from one another, they will intersect and sometimes intertwine and it will be up to you how these two journeys compliment each other. Spirituality with its unique benefits can enhance the journey to better mental health. It’s important to find a balance and seek professional guidance when needed. Lean on all the communities that are available to you for both your spiritual and mental health needs because it is these circles that will lead you to better health spiritually and in your Bipolar disorder management.  Every woman’s journey is unique—exploring what works best for personal growth is key.

Have you experienced the connection between spirituality and mental health? Share your story in the comments or connect with a support community. Let’s continue to have conversations that take us beyond the stigma to a place where spirituality and mental health can become two halves of a unique and holistic plan toward better wellness.

Aging with Bipolar disorder can significantly impact women’s mental health, oftentimes leading to more depressive episodes, increased rapid cycling and mixed episodes and a higher likelihood of co-occurring disorders like anxiety or substance use disorder. As women with Bipolar disorder age they may experience a shift in their symptoms from hypomanic and manic episodes to more frequent and longer depressive episodes, and a possible increase in the number of mood episodes especially around perimenopause. 

Perimenopause and Bipolar Disorder 

Perimenopause is the transitional period leading up to menopause, characterized by fluctuating hormone levels and changes in menstrual cycles, potentially causing symptoms like hot flashes, irregular periods, and mood changes. Perimenopause has been linked to a higher risk of developing Bipolar disorder or experiencing the exacerbation of existing symptoms related to the mood disorder due to the hormonal shifts that occur specifically the decline in estrogen. For women with pre-existing Bipolar disorder perimenopause can lead to more intense and frequent mood episodes.

Depressive Episodes and Aging

As women with Bipolar disorder age there is a shift toward more depressive episodes and fewer manic episodes however these depressive episodes may be more prolonged. Some research has shown with the passage of decades in the Bipolar disorder illness there is an increase in the predominance of depressive symptoms including lowered motivation, changes in sleep patterns and appetite changes. Some women may also experience cognitive issues as they age in this illness. There is also the possibility that symptoms become resistant to medications that worked previously. If you are noticing any of these changes in your Bipolar disorder illness it's important to consult your medical team for support during this time of transition.    

Understanding Your Needs

Aging with Bipolar disorder is a part of the process that is sometimes overlooked. Just like aging is different for men as for women, transitioning from decade to decade with a severe mental illness will also look different. As women there is more to consider such as perimenopause, menopause, mood fluctuations due to hormonal shifts and how the illness of itself ages with you. It’s important to know your needs when dealing with mental illness and be aware of the changes in your cycle. Relying on your past knowledge of Bipolar disorder can help you understand who you were in your illness rather than where your mood disorder is going as you age and what your unique needs are as you transition.    

Emotional and Psychological Impact of Aging with Bipolar Disorder: A Woman’s Insight

When I was in my 20s and 30s dealing with my illness my focus was on medication and symptom management. Because I deal with Bipolar I disorder, I have always focused on the emergence of manic symptoms as my baseline leans toward hypomania. I’m now in my 40’s and I have started to experience several depressive episodes, though temporary in nature they surprised me. My lack of understanding of what I need psychologically and physiologically in this next phase of my Bipolar disorder journey has led me to start doing my research on what this mood disorder looks like in this season of my life. 

I recently went to see my OBGYN regarding irregularities in my menstrual cycle. In my 30s I was advised due to my medication regime I was experiencing fluctuations in my cycle and after a few months my period stopped completely. A week or so before my 40th birthday my cycle returned but it was irregular and caused concerns. For the past two years though, I have felt almost normal with the return of my cycle. I have also experienced emotional and psychological ups and downs including rapid cycle manic episodes and major depressive episodes. My OBGYN said the irregular cycle is due to my age and because he is not an expert in mental health he was unable to address the psychological changes that were occurring. 

It was an older friend in her 50s that mentioned I could be experiencing perimenopause, the transitional period leading to menopause. So, I began to do my research and discovered the emotional and psychological complexities of Bipolar disorder can become more challenging during this transitional period as well as during menopause. It is well known that Bipolar disorder is derived from chemical imbalances so when women age there are fluctuations in body chemistry that affect the way mood episodes occur. For example, I find myself crying more often and experiencing days when I’m unable to get out of bed. My energy is high one minute and low the next. Recently, I went on vacation and experienced a two day manic episode, one of the shortest I’ve ever had which was brought on by lack of sleep. I have also experienced moments of visual hallucination in the past few months. 

After speaking with my psychiatrist, he advised that we shorten the time between our sessions and that I continue to monitor these fluctuations in mood. He also ordered a full blood work-up to determine whether or not there needs to be adjustments made to my treatment plan. He recommended that if unexplainable mood episodes occur to contact him right away to schedule an appointment. I have been fortunate to work with a healthcare provider that listens to my concerns, keeps an open mind and provides proactive treatment solutions. 

Bipolar disorder is a continuous rollercoaster of emotional and psychological challenges but managing your symptoms is key especially as we age. Oftentimes when you feel you have a handle on this illness life will throw you a curve ball and everything feels brand new again. It's important to remember that you have the strength and resilience to manage your mood disorder regardless of the challenges that come your way. Through self-care, support, psychoeducation, medical management and self-compassion aging with Bipolar disorder will become a phase in life you conquer rather than one that defeats you. If you are currently dealing with symptoms of aging with Bipolar disorder consult your healthcare professional for information on how you can proactively manage these new challenges.       

Medication and Treatment Adjustments for Older Women with Bipolar Disorder

When you are aging and dealing with a mental illness like Bipolar disorder it's important to remember that the illness changes as you change, psychologically, physically and emotionally therefore medication and treatment adjustments may need to be made. If you are noticing a difference in medication effectiveness or treatment strategies contact your healthcare provider to discuss adjustments that can help you continue to manage your mental illness effectively. For example, there are several medications in the categories of mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics or anticonvulsants that may currently be in your medication regime that require careful monitoring to mitigate side effects or toxicity. In other words, the medications that previously worked to manage your symptoms may need readjustment in dosage or frequency as you age to remain effective. 

Lifestyle changes should also be considered to promote mental health, physical health and to avoid developing other health concerns like diabetes, high cholesterol and blood sugar or blood pressure issues from arising and creating further health challenges. A healthy lifestyle, including regular exercise, a balanced diet and adequate sleep can play a significant role in managing Bipolar disorder especially as one ages. Also seeking the counsel of a therapist, groups or peer support can prove valuable as they have knowledge and understanding of the challenges you may face during this transitional phase.

Whichever route you choose as you grow and change in your Bipolar disorder journey it's important to remember there are supports in your community and on your team to assist you in understanding how to navigate the new path of aging and managing Bipolar disorder. The complexities of managing a severe mood disorder along with the process of aging with your illness will have its challenges but with time, research, support and continued resilience you can overcome the physical, psychological and emotional trials that often come with aging and Bipolar disorder.        

Practical Strategies for Coping with Aging and Bipolar Disorder

Coping with aging and Bipolar disorder can be challenging. Below are some practical strategies for maintaining a balanced lifestyle while dealing with this new transition and managing your mood disorder.

Establish and Maintain Structure, Routine and Good Habits

• Sleep Hygiene: Aim for a consistent sleep schedule, wake-up and go to bed at the same time daily even on weekends as disturbances in sleep can trigger mood swings.

• Structured Daily Activities: Incorporate a daily routine of activities such as exercise, regular meals and social activities like groups or meeting with friends.

• Medication Management: Take your medication daily and/or as prescribed and discuss side effects or concerns with your healthcare provider as issues arise. 

Physical and Mental Health

• Nutrition: Limit processed foods and incorporate a balanced diet rich in vegetables, fruits and whole grains. Instead of take-out food consider cooking meals daily based on your budget.  

• Exercise: Engage in physical activities you enjoy like hiking, cardio workouts, daily walking or yoga. Exercising releases endorphins and dopamine, the feel good chemicals that can combat feelings of stress or depression. 

• Stress Management: Incorporate relaxation practices like medication, breathing exercises or grounding in the morning or before bedtime to release stress. 

• Mental Stimulation: Engage in activities that stimulate the brain like reading, puzzles or learning a new skill such as refinishing furniture or crocheting. 

Build a Strong Support System

• Connect with Others: Build and maintain relationships with family, friends and support groups who can support you during difficult times.

• Professional Support: Seek the help of professionals such as psychologists, counselors or psychiatrists who can address mood fluctuations and help you develop coping skills.

• Self-Advocacy: Communicate your needs to your healthcare team and support network. Openly share your experiences to find circles of support from like-minded individuals.  

More Strategies

• Address Age-Related Changes: Monitor potential age-related changes in your emotional and psychological cycle to address with your healthcare providers. 

• Manage Chronic Conditions: If you have any other chronic conditions such as diabetes or blood pressure concerns, work with your healthcare team to manage them effectively. 

• Stay Active and Engaged: Continue to do activities that bring you joy and fill your life with purpose. 

• Memory Aids: Use tools like calendars, to-do lists, daily planners, reminders and alarms to help keep track of medications and appointments. 

Final Thoughts

Aging with Bipolar disorder presents unique challenges, but with the right strategies, support, and self-awareness, women can navigate this journey with confidence. From understanding how symptoms change over time to adjusting treatment plans and nurturing relationships, the key is to remain proactive and practice self-compassion. When you grow and change so will your Bipolar disorder and how you manage your symptoms. Aging has never been an easy process with everyday, year or decade that passes so does the emotional and psychological needs of women. Remember Bipolar disorder is a lifelong  and complex condition. How you handle the challenges and pitfalls of this complicated mood disorder is up to you. Through psychoeducation and vigilant observation of your changing Bipolar cycle it's possible to maintain control of your journey to wellness especially during the aging process.   

If you or a loved one are facing aging with Bipolar disorder, it’s essential to seek out professional guidance, stay connected with supportive networks, and develop practical coping mechanisms. Remember every day is an opportunity to do something you’ve never done before, so today embrace the process of aging with Bipolar disorder and prioritize your mental health  and wellness every step of the way.

 “You treat men like disposable objects, like trash, you hurt them, men like me who want love and relationships with your destructive behaviours. You made up this stupid word ‘situationships’ to exempt you from being responsible for how your actions affect the other person. You hate men, you use them and abuse them and I’m sorry you were raped so much but maybe you should deal with your problems before you engage in another relationship, maybe you should try being a worthwhile person who deserves love…” 

Michael, which is not actually his name but for the sake of confidentiality it’s what I am going to call him, had so much more to say and he said it with a certain and violent anger as if he and I had been engaged in one of these situationships and he was the man I had hurt, used and abuse instead of meeting in January 2025 online for the first time  at least that's how it came across to me. I have been in a Cognitive Processing Therapy group for the last 10 weeks attempting to understand how my past trauma has affected my present life and interpersonal relationships. I was told in my intake last December 2024, that an unusual occurrence had happened in this intake where there were more men wanting to address their trauma than the organization had seen in many years. My psychotherapist realized because of the nature of my trauma, Gender-Based Violence, I may experience some discomfort with their presence. I was determined to join however not 100% comfortable with the idea but willing to explore it.

For the first 5 or 6 weeks I barely said anything, I just sat in my big red  chair, well mannered and well groomed, listening to the other group members share some of the most horrific traumas outside of my own that I had ever heard. I empathized with all of them but I kept quiet only speaking when asked to share my weekly emotions during check-in and my group take-away during check-out. I realized around session seven that I was not only afraid to share my trauma with the men in the group I was terrified of their judgement and rejection. 

Every week a member of the group would go over our homework worksheet where the three facilitators would help us understand our “Stuck Points” (the elements of the trauma that was keeping us in the trauma rather than moving forward and healing). Every week I would try to do some of the homework and I would fail, not because I didn’t find it relevant or useful but because I had avoided and covered up my pain and trauma so long it was like it was never even there like a picture you hang over a giant hole in your wall instead of fixing the wall, you know there is damage there but the pretty picture covers it so well you forget. I feel with my lack of engagement in the group perhaps Michael could only see the pretty picture I presented and not the giant empty and hollow hole of trauma that lived inside me. 

By week eight I made up my mind to share my homework and thus share my story with the group. I can remember the day of group, March 17, 2025 and what my stuck point was: “When there are too many men in a room with me, especially if they are intoxicated, I can’t control the situation and I will be attacked and raped because all men are dangerous and capable of rape.” When my group facilitator asked me why I felt this way, a watershed of emotional blockage came unstuck and I told the group everything. I was molested as a child, I was gang-raped at 14-years old by five boys in highschool, I was raped at 18-years old by my boyfiend and I was drugged and raped at 27-years old by a stranger I met at a club. This is the trauma I carry inside of me and the narrative that goes with it is: 

“All men are dangerous and even if you are attracted to them, the minute you lose control of the situation aka situationship run far, run fast, do something destructive to push them away because they will destroy you anyway so don’t give them your power ever again.”  

I didn’t realize I felt this way until week eight when I shared my trauma with the group. I believed these feelings were in the past and I could explain all my self-destructive behaviours related to men by placing the label of Mania or Psychosis in Bipolar disorder on it. The truth is however, as angry, hurt and embarrassed as I was over what Michael screamed in my face during group last week there is also a sense of release and self-discovery because for the first time since therapy started I had a breakthrough. I don’t agree with most of what he said or how he said it but I must honour the mirror he put up to my face. 

When I look at myself in that mirror I see a woman with decades of unaddressed trauma who avoids relationships because she is afraid and does not feel worthy of love because she is damaged. I see a woman who doesn’t feel safe anywhere, not even in her own home; I see a woman that sexualizes herself so men will find her worthwhile; lastly I see a little girl who got dealt a bad hand but has grown into a strong person who is trying to release the lifetime of pain she's been carrying in her mind, body and spirit. I don’t know where my trauma healing journey will lead me and I don’t know if my fellow group member is correct in saying stay away from men until you heal (kinder way of rephrasing). I do know everyday I fall a little more in-love with myself, everyday I feel a little stronger, everyday I feel a little more worthy and at peace with myself and everyday I feel closer to the ultimate goal of self-love and forgiveness. I may never heal to the point of being in a loving partnership, it may be me and all my journals for the rest of my life (I have no animals yet) either way I’m excited to find out.

If this self-reflection was as hard for you to read as it was for me to write, reach out, leave kind comments as its been a hell of a week, let’s connect, let’s have a conversation that takes us beyond the stigma of trauma to a place of healing, forgiveness and self-love.