One Year of Onika L. Dainty: Over 43,000 Views, Real Stories, Real Growth

The Post I’ve Dreamed of Writing

One year ago, I pressed publish on my first blog post with a mix of fear and hope. Today, I sit here in awe: over 43,000 views in 12 months. That number represents more than traffic. It means reach, resonance, and community.

This space was never about numbers, it was about honesty, about putting lived experience with bipolar disorder on the page and trusting that someone, somewhere, might feel less alone. Along the way, I’ve written through highs, lows, and all the in-between spaces of recovery.

The Personal Wins: Living the Dream of Writing

For years, I dreamed of being a writer. This blog made that dream real. Weekly practice gave me courage to tell the truth, even when it felt risky. Vulnerability became a ritual, not a performance, and self-trust slowly replaced self-doubt.

Every time I published, even on the toughest days, I met a truer version of myself. And in doing so, I also get to lead by example, showing my two nieces that you can follow your dreams, even when the path is complicated by mental health struggles.

Readers’ Favourites: The Posts That Traveled Farthest

Some pieces traveled farther than I ever imagined:

• The Impact of Blogging on Mental Health: Woman With Bipolar Disorder Shares Her Lived Experience - This post resonated because it wove lived expertise with practical hope.

• The Role of Gratitude in Recovery: Sharing Stories - Readers responded deeply to community-driven reflections on gratitude as a daily practice.

• Access to Mental Healthcare: Challenges Faced by Women with Bipolar Disorder - Naming systemic barriers sparked conversation and connection I hadn’t anticipated.

• Life Lessons Series - This ongoing series of reflections has become a hub of dialogue. Posts on validation, resilience, and self-love showed me that sharing “small” lessons can carry immense weight.

Together, these four pillars helped carry us to nearly 43K+ views—proof that honest, grounded stories matter.

The Professional Wins: From Blog to Real-World Impact

The Honest Lows: What Was Hard and How I Coped

It wasn’t all triumph. Creating while living with bipolar disorder meant navigating cycles, hospitalizations, and travel that disrupted consistency. Family duties and responsibilities demanded renegotiated boundaries. And sometimes, I had to pause projects or choose rest, learning that stepping back is also part of moving forward. 

You may have noticed that this past month, September, and also in May, my posts were limited. That is because I have been moving through bipolar depression and hypomania, and I chose care over output. I will share more about this in future posts.

My Support Team

I have often spoken about the importance of having a team around you, and mine has been incredible. A special thank you to Grama Judie for everything she has done for me, for being my advocate when I cannot be my own. And to my family, who have been on this journey with me and stayed by my side, you know who you are.

Sidebar: My Relief Kit

What’s Next

Gratitude Roll

To every reader, commenter, collaborator, and quiet supporter: thank you. Thank you for trusting me with your stories, and for letting my words walk alongside yours.

I’d love to hear from you: Which post spoke to you most? Explore my previous posts and the Life Lessons Series and let me know.

If a post has helped you, please share it with someone who needs lived-experience hope today. Together, we can keep this community growing.

 

Life Lessons Series: The only validation I need is my parking. – Onika L. Dainty

Life Lesson #14

“The only validation I need is my parking.” – Onika L. Dainty

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Learning the Weight of Validation

Validation is a complicated concept. By definition, it means “recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile.” For some, that recognition from others—family, friends, colleagues, or even strangers—is at the very core of their identity. Without external approval, many find it hard to move forward, change, or grow. I know this because, for much of my life, I was one of those people.

From an early age, I allowed trauma and low self-esteem to dictate my path. My sense of self-worth was tethered to someone else’s star of approval. Whenever I was the lead in my own story, fear crept in, whispering that without cheerleaders—or critics in disguise—I would fall flat. And yet, the rare times I did validate myself, I discovered something unexpected: empowerment.

Losing and Rebuilding Self-Acceptance

When I was diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder in 2006, the fragile spark of self-acceptance I had been nurturing disappeared. Once again, I turned outward, seeking guidance from others—many of whom, though well-intentioned, only confused and discouraged me. Their voices drowned out my own, and my self-esteem plummeted.

It took years to untangle myself from this cycle. Ironically, the breakthrough came when I asked the right person the wrong question.

The Conversation That Changed Everything

In 2017, while brainstorming a mental health podcast with my cousin, I asked him what I thought was a simple question:

“Am I doing this right? What do you think?”

His response:
“If you’re looking for validation, Onika, you’re not going to get it from me. This is your show. You’re the one with the lived experience. I’m just the sound guy. Stop looking for validation in other people. We’re grown—validate yourself.”

His words hit like a mirror held to my face. Brutally honest, yes, but spoken with love. My cousin had always pushed me to believe in my abilities, to trust the possibilities of my future. That night, his refusal to validate me became the greatest validation of all.

Choosing to Lead My Own Story

After reflecting on his words, I felt something shift. My confidence grew, my self-worth blossomed, and the desperate need for approval from others began to fade. I realized I needed to be the lead in my own love story—the one where I finally fell for myself and the strength that had always been within me.

Today, I still value the perspectives of those who care for me, but I no longer need their validation. I validate myself. My feelings, decisions, and opinions are valid simply because I exist. That belief has given me an unshakable confidence, allowing me to make bold and brave choices on my mental health and wellness journey—choices I never would have dared to make before that late-night conversation.

Gratitude for Brutal Honesty

For every moment of honesty that challenged me to grow, I am deeply grateful. To my cousin—my cheerleader, my truth-teller, my mirror—thank you for helping me realize that the only validation I truly need is, indeed, my parking.

The Role of Gratitude in Recovery: Women with Bipolar Disorder Share Their Stories

By Onika Dainty

Gratitude. It's more than just saying “thank you.” For many women living with Bipolar disorder, gratitude has become a powerful tool in their recovery journey. Research shows that practicing gratitude can reduce symptoms of Depression and Anxiety by up to 30%. That’s a huge impact for something as simple as taking time to appreciate the good in life.

In this blog, you’ll hear from women who have been through the highs and lows of Bipolar disorder and how embracing gratitude has helped them heal. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or have been managing Bipolar disorder for years, these stories offer hope and practical tips for incorporating gratitude into your own life. Let’s dive in!

What is Bipolar Disorder? Understanding the Basics

Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings, ranging from emotional highs (Mania) to deep lows (Depression). There are different types—Bipolar I, Bipolar II, and Cyclothymia—but for many women, the emotional rollercoaster can feel overwhelming.

For women, Bipolar disorder can be especially tough due to hormonal changes that affect mood stability. From menstrual cycles to pregnancy and menopause, these hormonal shifts can make the symptoms of Bipolar even more unpredictable. It’s a daily struggle, but there are ways to manage it, and gratitude can be one of those tools.

The Science Behind Gratitude and Mental Health

Gratitude isn’t just about being polite. It actually changes your brain chemistry. When you practice gratitude, your brain releases dopamine and serotonin—those feel-good chemicals that help improve your mood. Studies have shown that people who regularly practice gratitude experience less stress, better sleep, and higher levels of happiness.

For women with Bipolar disorder, practicing gratitude can help build emotional resilience. By focusing on what’s going right, even during tough times, you can shift your perspective and reduce the intensity of depressive episodes.

Personal Stories: Women with Bipolar Disorder and Their Gratitude Practices

Story 1: Gratitude Journaling During Depressive Episodes

When I’m feeling low, it’s hard to see anything positive. But I keep a gratitude journal to help me through those times. Every day, I write down three things I’m grateful for, no matter how small. Sometimes it’s as simple as being thankful for a warm cup of coffee or a call from a friend. This small practice keeps me grounded and helps me shift my focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.

Story 2: Daily Acts of Appreciation to Stabilize Mood

I once had a romantic partner who always said, “Thanks, I appreciate you” to everyone—whether it was a server at a restaurant or a cashier at the grocery store. That stuck with me. Now, I say it all the time, to friends, family, and even strangers. It’s a simple way to spread positivity, and it’s amazing how something so small can lift my mood on difficult days.

Story 3: Finding Gratitude in Mania

During manic episodes, gratitude can feel out of reach. I often feel paranoid, unsure of who’s on my side. In those moments, I look to my faith to help me overcome feelings of hopelessness knowing that there is something greater than myself guiding me through the rough times which keeps me in a space of gratitude because I’m still alive and still fighting. I also rely on my mental health mentor to remind me that even when I’m unwell, there are still things to be grateful for. Having someone else help me see the good keeps me rooted, even when I can’t see it myself.

Practical Ways to Incorporate Gratitude into Your Recovery

Incorporating gratitude into your life doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are a few simple ways to get started:

Gratitude Journaling: Start by writing down three things you’re grateful for each day. Don’t overthink it—anything from a sunny day to a supportive friend counts.


Mindfulness and Gratitude: Being present in the moment is a form of gratitude. Take time to notice the little things, whether it’s the sound of birds chirping or the taste of your favorite meal.


Small Gratitude Habits: Try saying “thank you, I appreciate you” to the people around you. It’s a small gesture, but it can shift your mindset and brighten someone else’s day too.

Overcoming Challenges: When Gratitude Feels Impossible

There will be days when finding gratitude feels impossible, especially during depressive episodes. It’s okay to feel that way. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring the pain or pretending everything’s fine—it’s about acknowledging the good, even in the midst of hardship.

In these moments, therapy and support groups can help. Talking through your struggles with a therapist or peers can provide new perspectives, making it easier to see the silver linings. And remember, it’s okay to give yourself grace. No one feels grateful 100% of the time, and that’s perfectly normal.

How Gratitude Can Improve Relationships for Women with Bipolar Disorder

Gratitude has a ripple effect on the people around you. By expressing appreciation to friends, family, and romantic partners, you strengthen those bonds and build trust. This is especially important for women with Bipolar disorder, as our loved ones often bear the brunt of our mood swings. Taking time to show gratitude for their support can go a long way in maintaining healthy relationships.

Whether it’s a simple “thank you” or a random act of kindness, incorporating gratitude into your relationships can improve communication and create deeper connections.

Final Thoughts

Gratitude may seem like a small thing, but as these personal stories show, it has the power to transform your mental health and relationships. For women managing Bipolar disorder, gratitude can be a grounding practice that provides hope, even on the hardest days.

Whether you start with a gratitude journal or a simple daily “thank you, I appreciate you” to someone who needs to hear it, the key is consistency. Gratitude is a practice, and with time, it can shift your mindset in powerful ways. Remember, recovery is a journey, and it’s important to be grateful for every small step toward your ultimate goal of wellness.

Wishing you a Thanksgiving filled with family, feasting and gratitude!

For more information on managing Bipolar I disorder, don’t forget to check out my previous post How to Start Managing Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide. And if you’re looking for additional tools and resources to help you on your journey, you might also find Best Tools and Resources for Managing Bipolar Disorder in 2024 helpful.