Life Lesson #4

Seventy-one and a half miles. 

190,725 steps. 

18 days.

When I think about where and when I first heard this quote I draw a blank. It’s as if I was born with this philosophy in my bones and in my heart so the first time it appeared before me I already knew it. It's the story of my life, reminding me that no matter what my goals are, what challenges I face, what adversity I need to overcome to reach my final destination I must take the most important first step without fear of the outcome or even knowing where the journey will take me. Even when the walk feels impossible and never-ending, every journey is an adventure with no guarantees that it will help you or hurt your current circumstance. By taking the first step the only certainty is that you will have to continue to walk down an unknown path to gain knowledge and understanding of your purpose, to learn the lessons that every journey teaches you. 

I remember the fear I felt at 5 years old taking that first step onto an airplane at the Cheddi Jagan International Airport in my home Guyana where my mother and I would fly to Canada, to our new lives and it feels like I’ve been taking first steps ever since. 

The first step into a Canadian elementary school where I would experience racism and bullying. 

The first step into my new house in Pickering, ON where I felt love and happiness, where I wrote my first award-winning poem, where my family was whole. 

My first step into the hallways of my high school where I experienced gender-based violence, fear and constant anxiety. 

The first step onto my university campus where I found escape from my past, where I smoked my first joint while experiencing extreme depression, where I graduated with my first Honours degree in History

My first step inside the observation room of a Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU) where I would be diagnosed with Bipolar I disorder  and the course of my life would be forever changed.

When I was discharged from my first psychiatric hold I had no idea that on my journey to wellness I would have copious admissions, struggle with substance use issues, go to rehab, have a dual-diagnosis, have a co-occurring disorder, be non-compliant with my medication, be restrained to multiple hospital beds, be fired from numerous jobs, lose friendships, lose family, face my trauma, face the death of loved ones, experience homelessness, successfully complete two other higher-education credentials, become a national ambassador for mental health, start a podcast, be an advocate and public speaker for mental illness, write a book, re-write a book start a blog, be reunited with my family, enjoy cooking, live in a beautiful house or end-up going to the gym everyday.   

Seventy-one and a half miles. 

190,725 steps. 

18 days.

The above stats are the amount of miles I’ve walked on the treadmill and the amount of steps I’ve taken in the 18 days I’ve been going to the gym. It might not seem relevant in the face of everything else I’ve said but for me it represents what Lao Tzu is trying to say. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. It's about making a decision to change your circumstances, to be resilient in the face of adversity, being fearless and doing something you’ve never done before in an attempt to change the direction of your life. I have had a lot of tragedy on my journey but I’ve had a lot of triumphs as well. I choose to learn from the tragedy and celebrate the triumphs by filling my journey with things, people and experiences that bring me joy. I choose to fearlessly walk my thousand miles in happiness and hope instead of fear and despair. Thank you Lao Tzu for teaching me how important it is to take the first step.

Throughout my journey, I've learned that self-care is not an act of selfishness but rather a vital component of maintaining my well-being. The experiences I've had over the years have shaped my understanding of what self-care means for me and how it can help other women living with Bipolar I disorder. This article explores effective tools and strategies that can help you find balance, improve your mental wellness, and enhance your overall quality of life. Let’s dive into the empowering world of self-care, and for further insights, don’t forget to check out "How to Start Managing Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide."

Understanding Bipolar Disorder and Its Impact on Women

Bipolar disorder is characterized by significant mood swings, ranging from manic highs to depressive lows. For women, the effects of Bipolar disorder can be exacerbated by hormonal fluctuations, societal pressures, and various life transitions. My own experience has shown me how these factors can influence my mood and overall mental health.

In Canada, studies indicate that women are more likely to experience rapid cycling—where mood episodes occur more frequently—compared to men. This understanding became crucial for me as I navigated my own mood cycles. I noticed that during certain phases of my menstrual cycle, I would experience heightened anxiety and irritability. Understanding this connection allowed me to prepare for these times and adjust my self-care routine accordingly. Keeping a mood diary helped me track these fluctuations, providing invaluable insights into my mental health.

Moreover, societal pressures can create additional challenges. As women, we often juggle multiple roles—caregivers, professionals, friends—and this balancing act can feel daunting. There were times when I felt like I had to put on a brave face and pretend everything was fine, even when I was struggling inside. Acknowledging these feelings and understanding that it's okay not to have it all together has been an essential part of my journey.

The Role of Self-Care in Managing Bipolar Disorder

Self-care is often misunderstood. It’s not merely about indulgence; it’s about putting your mental health first amidst the unique challenges that come with experiencing mental illness. Daily life can be stressful, and triggers that lead to a mental health episode can lurk around every corner. When you’re living with Bipolar I disorder, managing potential triggers through daily self-care activities becomes essential.

Many people think self-care is limited to spa days or treating yourself to new clothes. While those can be forms of self-care, it's essential to delve deeper. Self-care encompasses a broad range of practices that prioritize mental and emotional well-being. For me, it has included everything from journaling to aromatherapy, and understanding my “why” has helped solidify my commitment to these practices.

The most common misconception about self-care is that it can be superficial. I’ve often heard people dismiss activities like getting a manicure or using a face mask as mere luxuries. However, these activities can serve a purpose in our wellness journey. For example, I find that personal grooming boosts my self-esteem during depressive episodes when my motivation to care for myself can diminish significantly. I’ve realized that maintaining a self-care routine tailored to my needs plays a crucial role in my mental health.

Essential Self-Care Tools and Strategies

Journaling

Journaling has been a vital self-care tool for me. Writing has been a passion since childhood, and it serves as an outlet for my thoughts and emotions. I use my journal to track my moods, reflect on my day, and explore my feelings. On difficult days, writing helps me process my emotions and gain clarity on my thoughts.

Through journaling, I have discovered patterns in my moods that I might otherwise overlook. For instance, I realized that my lows often correlate with significant life changes, such as transitioning jobs or navigating personal relationships. This awareness allows me to proactively address potential stressors and create a plan for coping.

Mindfulness,  Meditation and Spirituality

Practicing mindfulness and meditation has been transformative in my life. It allows me to ground myself during moments of anxiety and racing thoughts. On particularly overwhelming days, I take a few moments to focus on my breath, guiding my mind back to the present. Mindfulness techniques help me cultivate emotional regulation, providing a necessary anchor amidst the storm of my emotions.

I often find solace in guided meditation apps that offer specific exercises for managing anxiety and promoting relaxation. These practices have helped me find a sense of calm that I can carry with me throughout my day. Even just a few minutes of focused breathing can significantly shift my perspective and emotional state.I also engage in activities to fill my spiritual cup. I pray daily, listen to gospel music and attend church regularly. Spiritual practices may not be for you but it gives me a sense of community and keeps me grounded. It is important to know your personal goals and objectives when building your self-care tools and strategies. 

Physical Activity

Physical activity has also become a cornerstone of my self-care routine. Exercise plays a pivotal role in stabilizing my mood and enhancing my overall mental health. Research shows that regular physical activity can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, making it an essential component of my wellness journey. I’ve discovered that engaging in activities I enjoy—like dancing or hiking—makes it easier to stay committed to regular physical activity.

When I feel my energy levels drop or my mood starts to shift, going for a walk in nature or participating in a dance class can help lift my spirits. I appreciate the clarity that comes with physical movement, as it allows me to release pent-up emotions and refocus my mind.

Nutrition

Diet plays a significant role in my mental health. I’ve learned that what I put into my body can directly impact my mood and energy levels. Eating a balanced diet filled with whole foods has become a priority for me. I make it a point to nourish my body with nutrient-dense foods that support my overall well-being.

There were times when I succumbed to unhealthy eating habits, especially during depressive episodes. However, I recognized that these choices only exacerbated my symptoms. Now, I focus on incorporating plenty of fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats into my meals. It’s a continuous journey, but one that empowers me to take control of my health.

Building a Supportive Environment

Creating a supportive environment is essential for effective self-care. Throughout my journey, I've learned the importance of surrounding myself with positive influences and understanding individuals who can support my mental health.

Choosing Your Support Network: It's crucial to select your support network carefully. I’ve had experiences where individuals in my life were more toxic than supportive. While they may have had good intentions, their lack of understanding about my mental health struggles often left me feeling misunderstood and isolated. I had to confront these relationships, and when necessary, let them go for the sake of my well-being.

Finding a Mental Health Mentor: Seeking guidance from someone who understands the mental health landscape can also be beneficial. I connected with a mental health mentor who had experience navigating the healthcare system but did not have a mental illness. This person helped me better articulate my needs and provided valuable insights into community resources and support groups. She provides me with daily support and acts as a sounding board when I deal with difficult issues surrounding my mental health journey. This is a mutually beneficial relationship based on support, personal growth, empathy and understanding.  

Open Communication: Communicating my needs to friends and family has been an ongoing learning experience. I've found that expressing my feelings and challenges fosters understanding and support. It’s important to articulate how loved ones can help during tough times, whether it’s checking in regularly or just being there to listen.

Professional Help: Finding the Right Therapist

While self-care is crucial, seeking professional help can significantly enhance your wellness journey. Finding a mental health professional experienced in Bipolar disorder can make a world of difference. I’ve learned that not all therapists are created equal, and it’s essential to find someone with whom you feel comfortable.

When searching for a therapist, consider their experience with Bipolar disorder specifically. I recommend asking questions during your first appointment to gauge their understanding of the condition. Therapy has been a valuable resource for me, providing a safe space to explore my thoughts and emotions.

In addition to therapy, exploring medication options has been a critical part of managing my Bipolar I disorder. I take mood stabilizers and antipsychotics, and having ongoing conversations with my healthcare provider has allowed me to tailor my treatment plan to my unique needs. The journey of finding the right balance can be challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining my well-being.

Creating a Personalized Self-Care Plan

Developing a personalized self-care plan is a vital step in managing Bipolar I disorder. This plan should reflect your lived experiences and needs. Here are some steps that have worked for me:

1. Know Your Why: Understanding the motivation behind your self-care routine is crucial. For me, it stems from a desire to prioritize my mental health and create a sense of stability amidst the chaos.
2. Do Your Research: If the concept of self-care feels overwhelming, seek input from those around you. Ask friends, family, and healthcare professionals what they do for self-care. However, be cautious not to overwhelm yourself with too many options.
3. Develop a Manageable Routine: Once you have an idea of what self-care means to you, start plotting out your daily or weekly activities. It's important to remember that self-care is a journey, and it's okay to take things one step at a time.
4. Think Outside the Box: Sometimes, pushing yourself to try new things can lead to valuable discoveries about your needs. I’ve found that engaging in activities outside my comfort zone has enriched my self-care routine.
5. Review and Revise: Your self-care plan should be flexible and adaptable to your changing needs. Regularly assess how your routine aligns with your mental health goals. If something isn't working, don’t hesitate to modify it.

Final Thoughts

Prioritizing self-care is essential for women living with Bipolar I disorder. It’s a journey that requires commitment, patience, and adaptability. As I reflect on my experiences, I recognize the importance of embracing tools and strategies that resonate with my unique needs.

By leveraging self-care practices, I have learned to navigate the ups and downs of my mental health journey with resilience. Understanding that I’m not alone in this struggle has empowered me to create a life that reflects my strengths and aspirations.

If you want to explore more about managing Bipolar disorder, I highly encourage you to check out "How to Start Managing Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide." Together, we can promote understanding and support for women living with bipolar disorder and empower each other to thrive.

Call to Action

If you found this article helpful, please share it with others who may benefit from these insights. Let’s work together to promote understanding and support for women living with bipolar disorder.