Onika L. Dainty

I can be stubborn, but I’m also curious. After hearing repeatedly how physical activity improves brain function, boosts mood, and supports overall health, I decided to take small steps to include movement in my self-care routine. Although I was 40 pounds overweight, I didn’t approach exercise for weight loss. I chose activities that supported my mood, mind, and mental health.

In this article, I’ll share how physical activity helps stabilize mood. I’ll tell my story—how I walked toward wellness with detours along the way. I’ll explore how self-compassion plays a key role in building a sustainable habit, highlight stories from women who live life in motion, and offer tips that helped me build structure, routine, and consistency in my physical activity journey.

How Movement Helps Stabilize Mood

Physical activity has a profound impact on emotional regulation. It releases endorphins that naturally boost mood. It also supports brain health by promoting the growth of new cells and reducing inflammation in areas linked to emotional balance. Physical activity can interrupt negative thought patterns, create a sense of accomplishment, and build self-esteem—all crucial for coping.

For women with Bipolar disorder, movement can regulate mood, improve sleep, ease anxiety and depression, and even help restore cognitive function. Whether it’s walking, stretching, or strength training, movement activates the mind-body connection, which is essential for emotional stability.

Walking Toward Wellness: A Lived Experience

Five years ago, I was living in the city, navigating a depressive episode, and teetering between overweight and obese. I used to walk for hours in my early 30s through my parents’ suburban neighbourhood. By 35, I lived 20 minutes from the lake and walked regularly. But when I moved to Toronto, surrounded by concrete and crime, walking no longer felt safe—or desirable.

I lost all structure and fell into unhealthy habits. I only left home for work, groceries, or cigarettes. It took years before I felt ready to take a walk toward wellness again.

It started with a simple hike. A colleague invited me out of the city. I hadn’t seen trees or breathed fresh air in years. She called it a “baby hike,” but I struggled. I returned home sweaty, dirty, covered in leaves—and more alive than I’d felt in a long time. That hike sparked something. Every weekend, I hiked. When I moved back home, I hiked with anyone I could convince to join. I eventually became a certified Ontario Hike Leader.

Now, I don’t hike as often, so six months ago I joined a gym. I committed to walking 3–5 miles daily on the treadmill and training twice a week with a personal trainer. Yes, I’ve lost weight—but the most powerful change is internal. I’ve gained emotional strength, clarity, and focus.

Emotional regulation has always been a challenge: tearful outbursts, deep sadness, hypersensitivity, and sudden anger. Since incorporating regular physical activity, I’ve gained better control over these emotions. It started with small steps, but over time, exercise changed my mindset, improved my mental health, and stabilized my mood.

Surprisingly, the gym has become one of my safe spaces—a place where I feel free, fearless, and focused.

You Will Fall Off Track—And That’s Okay: Remember Your Why

Everyone has “off days,” especially when living with bipolar disorder. Sleepless nights, mood shifts, and depressive episodes are part of the landscape. Some weeks, I didn’t move at all—let alone make it to the gym.

The key isn’t avoiding setbacks—it’s returning after them. Whether it’s stretching in bed, doing yoga in your living room, or walking around the block, each time you move, you reclaim your power. Self-compassion is essential. So is remembering your “why.” Reminding yourself why you began your movement journey can be enough to get you going again.

Movement Looks Different for Everyone

For some, high-intensity workouts bring a sense of achievement. For others, like me, daily gym visits feel like success. But physical activity doesn’t have to be intense or traditional. Movement is simply about moving—on your terms.

Walking your dog, dancing while you cook, stretching to music, or doing chair yoga are all valid. The goal isn’t performance—it’s participation. Find what fits your body, lifestyle, and current season of life.

Creating a Life in Motion: Lived Experiences of Women with Bipolar Disorder

Catherine, a young mother of two, used yoga to regulate her mood before motherhood. She attended classes multiple times a week and practiced at home when needed. After starting a family, she adapted her routine—now practicing 15 minutes a day to maintain inner calm.

Kim, a first-year college student and former dance major, felt homesick and emotionally overwhelmed. She missed dancing and realized it helped regulate her mood. She enrolled in Hip-Hop and Contemporary classes at her university and now takes 2–3 per week. Her stress is lower, and she feels more emotionally balanced.

Dani had just been discharged from a psychiatric unit after a two-month depressive episode. Tired from her new medication and 15 pounds heavier, she remembered how good walking made her feel. On the first day of spring, she started morning walks while listening to music. By summer, she walked daily—and her depressive episode had lifted.

These stories show that physical activity can transform mood, mindset, and mental health. There’s no one “right” way to move. The power lies in showing up—for yourself and your well-being.

Tips for Creating a Gentle, Consistent Routine

1. Start with what you have.
Your body is enough. Begin slowly. Don’t commit to intense programs until you know what you enjoy. Use the suggestions in this article to get started.

2. Set realistic goals.
Instead of “I’ll run a mile,” start with “I’ll walk for 10 minutes.” Small wins build momentum and confidence.

3. Pair movement with something uplifting.
Listen to your favourite playlist, audiobook, or exercise with a friend. It can make movement feel less like a chore and more like a joy.

4. Be flexible.
All-or-nothing thinking is a trap. If you don’t hit your full goal, that’s okay. Something is always better than nothing. If you’re consistently struggling to meet a goal, it may be time to adjust—without guilt.

Movement is an Act of Self-Love

Physical activity isn’t just about your body—it’s about your mind and emotions. Reframe movement as a practice of self-love. It’s about how it makes you feel, not how you look. Loving your body means moving when you can, resting when you need to, and always returning when you're ready.

Final Thoughts: Today Starts With Movement

As Lao Tzu said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” The journey toward mental wellness through physical activity begins the same way.

I’m grateful physical activity is now part of my life. It was the missing piece in my structure, routine, and habits. It started with a walk—and I hope it continues for years to come.

I feel no pressure to “do more” on my movement journey. When setbacks happen, I remind myself that falling off track means there’s always a way back. Consistency isn’t easy. There will be days when “movement” doesn’t exist in your vocabulary. But every day ends, and a new one begins. Every day is an opportunity to start again.

To my readers: What’s one way you can move your body today? Just one. Start there.

When I was a little girl my mother and I would bake cakes together. She would put all the ingredients in a bowl–flour, butter, sugar, vanilla essence, eggs and a generous pinch of salt. She never forgot the salt even though it wasn’t a part of the recipe in the What’s Cooking in Guyana cook book that travelled with us from back home. One day curiosity got the better of me and I asked my mother why she put something salty in something that was made to taste sweet. The conversation went as follows:

“Mama why do you add salt to the cake? Won’t salt make the cake taste bad?” I inquired.

My mother smiled at me with a knowing smile she still gives me today and said, “You want to know a secret the recipe book won’t tell you? Salt will actually bring out the sweet flavour of the cake, it will make the cake taste better Nika.”

My little girl mind started to process what my mother was telling me and another question came to me, “So mama is salt in everything in the world? Does everyone know what salt is, what salt can do?”

She smiled again and gave me a surprising answer, “Yes Nika, salt is in most things it’s an essential part of life; it's in the Earth, in the animals, in us and the food we eat. Salt is a common thing but no, not everyone uses it in the right way, some people overuse it but everyone knows what it is.”

Because my mother was a registered nurse and a knowledgeable woman of science, I believed she was telling me the truth and from that truth came a surprising truth of my own. As I stirred the ingredients in the bowl, I considered each one carefully and realized that the one ingredient necessary for the world to be sweeter, better and nicer was a generous pinch of salt to bring forth its natural goodness. 

 I thought about the mean kids at school who bullied me relentlessly since my arrival to Canada the year before. I thought about the little boy that called me the N-word the first week of kindergarten and his father that encouraged him to do so. I thought about the challenges I had faced so far and were bound to face because I wasn’t like other kids. Then I thought about what it would be like to achieve the new desire growing in my heart and said with a steady and determined voice, 

“Well mama, one day my name will be as common as Salt.”

That was where my heart led me at 6-years old after a seemingly ordinary conversation with my mother about salt. I was a little girl with a big dream and though I had no idea how to make it happen it was born and grew in my heart over a bowl of cake mix and a generous pinch of salt and I was determined to see it through. 

The Long Painful Road to Losing My Way

When I was in high school I started scouting universities years before most students my age. At 15-years-old I went to a university fair and fell in love with Carleton University in Ottawa, ON. I took it as a done deal that I was destined to be there when I won a Carleton mug at one of the information sessions. I drank everything from that mug knowing that one day I would be sitting in a dorm room writing my New York Times bestseller in between lectures. 

When my senior year came and it was time to apply for schools, It was time to follow my heart to Carleton University. However, my parents were against me going away to school. They were worried about the 4 hour distance from Toronto to Ottawa, they were terrified something would happen to me and they couldn’t protect me. They loved me and wanted the best for me. They wanted me to take the safest route to higher education, a life with financial security and very little struggle or adversity. I told them on the final day to send in an acceptance letter that it was Carleton University or nothing. 

In September 2001, I sat on the front lawn of Carleton’s Glengarry residence–my new home–holding tight to my Carleton mug, watching hot air balloons float in the Ottawa skies like an oman of great things to come and waved goodbye to my family as they drove away. I had arrived, I had followed my heart and it was time to conquer the world. Go Where Your Heart Takes You. 

During the five years I spent in Ottawa I made friends that I still have today, I wrote articles, literary papers, historical essays, an honours thesis and thought provoking poetry that I performed on slam poetry stages across the city; I struggled with Major Depressive disorder and Generalized Anxiety disorder; I fell in love with a beautiful man who broke my heart and I graduated with an Honours degree in History.

I also developed a drug problem and experienced my first Manic-Psychotic episode and hospitalization in a psychiatric unit. When I moved back home with my parents I was unrecognizable. I continued to have rapid-cycle highs and lows for almost 17 years. I fell hard and fast and somewhere along the way I lost confidence in my internal compass, I stopped following my heart, allowing life to simply happen to me and allowing other people’s fear over my mental instability to dictate my actions.  

There were events that felt like wins along this long and painful road. I graduated from Humber College with a graduate certificate in Public Relations and Communications, I moved to Toronto to be an event planner after studying Event Management at Durham College and I became a Peer Support Specialist working for a major Toronto hospital which made me feel I had regained my sense of self and that my internal compass was back on track leading me in the direction of my heart’s desire. 

During this period of what I believed was wellness, I hosted a successful podcast, I became a mental health advocate and I had secured my dream job yet it all felt wrong, it all felt life the lies of an imposter. I knew in the deepest part of me that I was not listening to my heart anymore, rather I was leading with the fear in my head. I was living up to other’s expectations of me by pretending to be alright when inside I was not alright, I was dying and my heart was broken. 

When Your Heart is Broken It Still Speaks

In 2022, two years after COVID-19 turned the world upside down I had to take a hard look at my myself and my life choices: I was a woman with an unmanaged mental illness, I was non-compliant with my medication, I was self-medicating with cannabis and I was smoking a pack of cigarettes daily all while trying to balance work obligation and life obligations. I was stressed, depressed, depleted, avoiding my unaddressed trauma, Hypomanic–on my best days, Manic–on my worst. I was an overweight, people-pleasing burnout pretending to have it all together, pretending to be happy when in reality I was drowning. 

How did I get here? I truly believe it's because I did not go where my heart was trying to lead me. Instead of being the fearless little girl with a big dream I had turned into someone I did not recognize. I lost my way and had no idea how to find the right path, the one that would lead me down the road to fulfilling my big dream.

TRIGGER WARNING…

On November 7, 2022, I made a plan to end my life by driving into my parent’s poolhouse. My mind kept telling me I was an unloved, unwanted failure and I didn’t need to be here anymore. I remember the moment before I put my car into gear it was as if every broken piece of my heart went into gear as well and screamed at me, Onika! Stop! Don’t Do It! Remember Your Dreams! And at that moment, when it mattered the most my internal compass that lives in the centre of me came back to life and reminded me to lead with my heart and not my head. 

I remembered I had parents, nieces, a grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends that loved me. I remembered that I had been lost before and found my way back to myself with hard work and unwavering determination. I remembered that the only way out is through, that there was light at the end of the tunnel, sunshine after the rain and that this awful time would pass if I just fought for the happiness I deserved. Go Where Your Heart Takes You. 

Final Thoughts - Go Where Your Heart Takes You, It's Worth the Journey

Millions of words ago and hundreds of lived experience stories I started a blog and today I write #100. I’m a different person than I was at article #1. This blog has changed me but I had to make the necessary changes in my life to be able to be as real, raw and authentic as I’ve been with the readers that have supported me on my journey to wellness.

I’m still living with a severe mental illness but now with the support of my family, friends and healthcare team I’m not only managing my illness, I’m thriving in it. I’m over a year and a half sober as of this week and I have not touched a cigarette in the same length of time. I’ve lost 30 pounds by re-introducing structure, routine and healthy habits into my life. I practice self-care and mindfulness daily and I give myself grace and self-compassion when I fall short of achieving my goals. I’m kinder and more patient with myself accepting that I’m fabulous and flawed all at once.  

I focus on my passions and staying well so I can simply enjoy my life. I experience peace, love, joy and happiness and don’t allow the stresses that inevitably come overwhelm me. I haven't seen the inside of a psychiatric unit in almost 2 years. I live to please myself rather than others. Finally, because I put the pieces of my heart back together through resilience and grit my internal compass has never worked better.

Since that day in my childhood kitchen, I have made it a habit to follow my heart even when logic dictates I should go in a certain and usually safe direction. I have always looked inside of myself, to my internal compass that lies in the centre of me and gone my own way. Even when bad things happen and I want to give up I remember that if I hold onto my 6-year old self’s courage and determination, listen to my heart and embrace the journey regardless of where the road takes me I will not fail and I will find my dreams waiting for me to catch them. Today, I’m a writer, a blogger, a public speaker, a daughter, a granddaughter, a niece, an aunt, a cousin and a friend to a tribe that loves me and that is a dream come true. 

Understand What Self-Care Means to You

Self-care is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It requires introspection and exploration to discover what resonates with you personally. For me, the simple act of making my bed each day has become a significant ritual. It signifies my commitment to creating a stable environment, especially on days when everything feels topsy-turvy. A made bed offers a sense of accomplishment and order, which can be incredibly grounding during challenging times.

Reflecting on my experience, I realize that when my bed is made, I’m more likely to embrace the day with a positive mindset. Conversely, when I’m unwell, the state of my bed can mirror my mental chaos. This small act serves as a powerful reminder of how much our surroundings influence our state of mind.

Create an Organized Space

An organized home often reflects my mental state. If clutter starts to accumulate, it’s a clear sign that I need to check in with myself. Keeping my living space tidy doesn’t just make it more pleasant to inhabit; it also serves as a barometer for my well-being. I’ve learned that when I’m feeling overwhelmed, a disorganized home can heighten my anxiety and exacerbate my mood swings.

Creating a calming and organized space is, therefore, a proactive form of self-care. I take the time to declutter and arrange my surroundings thoughtfully, transforming my home into a sanctuary that nurtures my spirit. This practice fosters a sense of peace and helps me maintain control, especially during turbulent times.

Embrace Your Personal Style

Caring for my hair and indulging in thrift shopping are more than physical acts; they’re opportunities for self-expression and creativity. For me, the act of taking care of my appearance is a way of reclaiming my identity during times when I might feel lost or disconnected. Choosing outfits that reflect my mood or trying out a new hairstyle becomes a form of empowerment.

Beautifying and decorating my home is another creative outlet. Each piece I select reflects a part of my journey and personality. Refinishing furniture isn’t just a hobby; it’s a metaphor for renewal—both in my living space and in my own life. Through these creative endeavors, I cultivate a sense of agency over my environment, which can be especially powerful when life feels chaotic.

Reflect Through Writing

Writing has been a crucial part of my self-care routine. Reading my own journals and composing “dear me” letters provide a profound way to connect with myself. These practices allow me to reflect on my journey, understand my feelings, and document my progress. Journaling becomes a therapeutic space where I can express my thoughts without judgment.

When I revisit my entries, I’m often struck by the resilience I’ve demonstrated through my struggles. This reflection offers clarity and helps me recognize patterns in my mood and behavior, enabling me to navigate future challenges more effectively. Writing serves as a mirror, reflecting my inner thoughts and feelings, and helps me gain insights into my mental health.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

A consistent skin-care routine might seem like a minor detail in the grand scheme of things, but it’s an essential act of self-love that reinforces my sense of worth. Taking the time to nurture my skin reminds me that I deserve care and attention. Each step of my routine—cleansing, moisturizing, and pampering myself—becomes a ritual of affirmation.

This practice cultivates a mindset of self-acceptance and gratitude, fostering a deeper connection with my body and my spirit. It’s these little rituals that accumulate into a larger practice of self-care, reminding me that I am worthy of love and care, regardless of my mental state.

Find Joy in Movement

One of my favorite self-care practices is singing and dancing in my kitchen. When I turn on my favorite tunes and let loose, I tap into a source of joy that can break through the heaviness of anxiety or depression. It’s liberating to express myself freely in my own space. This joyful movement allows me to reconnect with my inner child, reminding me that even in the midst of challenges, joy can coexist with struggle.

This practice not only elevates my mood but also encourages physical movement, which has its own therapeutic benefits. Whether it’s an upbeat pop song or a soulful ballad by Drake, dancing allows me to release pent-up energy and express my emotions in a joyful, creative way.

Final Thoughts

Self-care isn’t merely about pampering ourselves; it’s about recognizing our unique needs and cultivating practices that nourish our well-being. It’s a continuous journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Embracing self-care means loving yourself enough to invest time and energy into your own happiness, and that is a powerful act in itself.

As you explore your own self-care journey, I encourage you to consider what practices resonate with you. What small acts can you incorporate into your daily routine to foster a deeper sense of well-being? I invite you to share your thoughts or experiences in the comments. We’re all in this together, navigating the highs and lows of life. As we learn from each other, we can continue to find our paths toward healing and resilience.

If you're interested in further exploring the journey of managing Bipolar disorder, be sure to check out my blog, "How to Start Managing Bipolar Disorder: A Comprehensive Guide." It’s filled with valuable insights and tips to help you along the way.